


Pen Pals

by orphan_account



Category: Grey's Anatomy, Station 19, Station 19 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Incredibly Efficient Mail Delivery, Bisexual, Eventual Smut, F/F, Lesbian, Lesbian Sex, Letters, Love Letters, Pen Pals, True Love, Writing, implied sex, marina - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:06:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 23,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24432550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Maya and Carina have to deal with loving each other from a distance.AKA: We wanted to write something together
Relationships: Maya Bishop/Carina DeLuca
Comments: 73
Kudos: 204





	1. placeholder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dear Carina DeLuca, from your girlfriend, Maya Bishop,
> 
> Today it is sometime in the spring of 2020. I miss you more than anything, you know, I really do. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, for real this time.
> 
> Thanks for your patience, folks, for the early posted draft with 34 words.  
> Shoutout to the person who offered it Kudos (Hotgitay), already, you are awesome.
> 
> Cheers!

_Dear Carina DeLuca, from your girlfriend, Maya Bishop,_

Today it is sometime in the spring of 2020. I miss you more than anything, you know, I really do. 

It seems like only yesterday when we exchanged our parting kiss near Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital.

I remember it specifically because it was next to the same coffee cart where you took me back after we fought.

The time we fought and you kissed me to show me how much you still loved me, and you were willing to try...

That time, you tasted like coffee, or a cappuccino, rather, from having been drinking coffee with your doctor friend, Teddy Altman.

This last time, though, you didn't taste like coffee yet because we were waiting in line to get our cappuccinos together.

We just couldn't wait until after we'd moved to the front of the line; or at least, I couldn't - _I just had to kiss you, Carina._

And you tasted like _you_ \- without all the coffee - and it was even better than what you might have tasted like with extra caffeine.

Although kissing you is probably the thing I miss most from you, it's not the only one, and I sincerely miss basking in your physical presence right beside me.

You mentioned that your contract in Italy is only for one or two cases in addition to your research conference.

I guess I'm not a doctor so I can't say I 'get it', but in a way, I do, or at least, I try to.

There were/are many times that I had to interrupt our dates in order to literally or metaphorically put out a fire.

I want to offer you the same, Carina, to take your career to the fullest it can be.

Go take your 'female orgasm study' and present it to the world! 

I cannot wait to watch on live stream how you talk about revolutionizing modern medicine for women everywhere...

While simultaneously having been one of the proponents of saving Amelia Shepherd's life from a malignant brain tumor.

_As if female willing participants masturbating in a damn MRI machine with pink and purple sex toys were not enough to turn me on..._

Carina DeLuca, you never cease to amaze me, and I hope that you never will, with your research & work & your everyday life.

Ps. That was my way of saying that I hope; if you'll have me, that we'll be together long after you return from your séjour in Italy.

These weeks will be long and I will spend them thinking of you. Call me when you get this, as always. I will also call you.

Have a cappuccino on me, and when you text me to let me know, I will think of how your lips might be tasting.

The bitter coffee mixed with the sweetness of you in my memory will be enough to last for another day.

Carina, I cannot wait to receive your next letter in my mailbox. Already, as I write to you, I think this pen-pal idea...

It was the best one you have ever had. Cheers to a hopefully short-lived long-distance aspect of our relationship.

And best wishes, hugs, and kisses, until I can hold you in my arms for real, in person, once more.

Your pillow on my bed is a placeholder for you, as I cuddle it to sleep at night and imagine you doing the same.

_From your girlfriend, and love, Maya Bishop._

Written from Station 19 firehouse, as I look out the window of the Captain's office, and I imagine I can still see the last place I kissed you.

PPs. I have enclosed a series of pink butterfly stickers inside this envelope, as I know that I love them, as I hope that you do, too. 

**XOX**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading,
> 
> Let us know if you'd like more of this, in the comments,  
> And what parts of this you enjoyed.  
> MUCH LOVE!


	2. your eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I miss you and I love you and I feel like I needed to say it again before I sent this, so I miss you and I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was writing this in a google docs, but the font was Arial size 11 and it didn’t feel right... so I changed it to a cursive font size 14 and I feel like I truly mastered Carina! Anyways hope you enjoy!

Dear Maya Bishop, from your fidanzata, Carina DeLuca,

  
  


Ciao, bella, I miss you so much.

I know we try to call every day, but the time zones are so difficult. How is everything at the station?

I love you so much, Maya. I know I text you and tell you every day, but I feel like I don’t say it enough. I wish I could see you, feel you.

I also miss your physical presence. I barely sleep without you next to me, and I definitely don’t sleep well.

I know you needed to kiss me that day I left, I really needed it too, but today, right now, I need to kiss you, I don’t care if you taste like, I don’t know, raw fish, I just want to feel you and see you and kiss you. Okay, that’s a lie, I love you, Maya, with everything I have I love you, but if your breath smells like raw fish, I would not want to kiss you.

The contract is for  _ hopefully _ one or two cases, however many consults they need the three weeks I’m in town, I am hoping just one or two.

My orgasms are badass, both my study’s and my own (but you already know the second one), and I’m  _ really _ excited for you to watch the conference. The conference I will be speaking at in only Italian. 

The only word you will understand is orgasm, and I think that is wonderful. For my sake of teasing you, at least.

After the conference, I will call you and tell you the speech in English. Maybe I’ll tell you extra details about the pink and purple toys that apparently get you going.

Today, I was reminded of when I first saw you. I don’t remember what reminded me of it, but I  _ do _ remember the way you rushed in, I had to look at you.

It was like your presence commanded me (plus, your ass looked great in those jeans).

I saw you for a brief time, but your pale blue eyes looked beautiful, the glimpse I got of them did at least.

I miss your eyes, they usually look so reassuring, so ready for everything.

Maya don’t be stupida, of course I will have you after my stay in Italy. In fact, I expect you to have a handmade dinner and a nice bottle of wine waiting for me when I get back to Seattle (just kidding… kind of).

Also, don’t be surprised this was a good idea, I am Carina DeLuca, I have never had a bad idea ever. Not once. Okay, maybe I have, but I am honestly happy you are enjoying writing this, I am too.

I stole one of your t-shirts, I don’t know if you have noticed yet, but I did. I’ve been wearing it to sleep because it smells like you (my favorite scent).

I wish I could be with you, in your arms, hugging you, kissing you, kissing your body, and other things that feel just plain dirty writing.

Also, the butterfly stickers: I have made you a softie, and I can honestly say: no regrets.

  
  


Love,

Your fidanzata, Doctor Carina DeLuca

Written from my hotel room that reminds me of when we went on vacation together, it's the last hotel I was at.

PS. I am definitely taking you to Italy! Not now, obviously, but in a year or two, I had forgotten how much I loved Italy until I got back. Anyways, I am gonna go try to finish memorizing my speech about female orgasms.

PPS. I miss you and I love you and I feel like I needed to say it again before I sent this, so I miss you and I love you.


	3. 5 times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for trying to call me even though I know you have to stay up so late to do so.

Dear Carina DeLuca, from your sexy fire chief, Maya Bishop,

  
  


Thanks for trying to call me even though I know you have to stay up so late to do so.

I wish I could be keeping you up at night in a whole other way!

I’m going to say ‘I love you’ three times:

I love you, I love you, I love you,

I love you Carina DeLuca…

That actually makes 5 times, now in total.

I laughed out loud when you said you would kiss me even if I tasted like raw fish.

Also, I think that might not be so bad for you since you like sushi so much even though you’re Italian.

Okay, I take that back - people from everywhere should get to enjoy sushi!

We went for sushi one time for one of our dates and I loved that you are as obsessed with Eel Maki as I am.

You got to have the last piece and giving you the last piece of food that I love is something I would do only for the someone I love.

I guess I was already deeply in love with you, all the way back when, then.

Hopefully, your patients will be well enough not to need you longer. I know as I say that, that often the fires in the buildings that I run into last longer than all of us would care to stand by them.

We both do it anyway because we like to save lives.

I think you are much more of a hero than I am, by the way, with all the research you once did with your ex-Arizona with the maternal/fetal crash carts.

It’s funny that I’ve seen a picture of her along with your research and she has blonde hair like I do. I feel secure enough in our relationship that I don’t feel I need to obsess over her; I like that you have a thing for blondes because it works well in my favor!

As I read this I am logging on to see the live stream for your speech.

You were not kidding when you said the only word I might understand from you is _orgasm_.

All I can think about while you talk about scientific methodology is having my way with you, hot and wanting and naked in my bed and it’s making my head spin as I try to pay closer attention.

I’m waiting by the phone to hear you call even though you’re not even halfway through your speech yet. 

I’ve seen you practice before you left and I just loved to hear the lilt of your voice in your mother tongue.

You talk with me about the time that you saw me first and I don’t think I saw you until later.

I had just gotten out of a bear attack, after all, so I had things on my mind such as a bitten-off piece of flesh to be restored.

I don’t even remember what body part it was, or what happened.

I remember you at the bar. It was a ‘girl at a bar,’ meets a ‘girl at a bar,’ sort of love story and your version sounds much more romantic than mine.

Your red hair drove me wild the first time I saw you. All I wanted to do was to run my hands through it over and over.

Weeks later you would let me do this for hours as you fell asleep in my arms, and all I wanted was to keep feeling the silk of your hair.

When you get home I will have wine and dinner for you, but it will be in the oven reheating because I know I will be hungry for you first before anything.

You drive me wild with desire and I’m growing hot as you talk and I read your letter and I’m writing to you, yours.

These letters are my rock I hold onto when I cannot hold on, to you, at night. You say you can’t sleep and I cannot either and I don't want to worry you by saying that because I do not want to lie to you, either.

I sleep better with you safe in my arms, and I hold your picture to my cheek while you are away.

Now that I know you like my t-shirts I will mail you a few. You can expect them in Italy within 72 hours. I went to the post office today.

Reading you write about the ‘dirty,’ things that you want to do to me is making me want to do even naughtier things to _you._

_Please, Carina. Make me even softer because you round out my hard edges._

As I write this part, now, you are calling me and I am having you on speakerphone because you just finished your speech.

I’m not going to write down all of the sweet nothings you are whispering to me because if this letter is somehow checked at customs it might be sent back for being too pornographic.

And besides, I want to keep those things in my memory for only myself…

As you talk about our last vacation I remember how I was stressed out about the fire I could not attend. I mean ‘put out’. I mean, dutifully extinguish.

I love my work, Carina, and I love that you understand. I am going to describe the most recent 5-Alarm-Fire for you, just so you can imagine it through your girlfriend’s eyes.

It was at a candy store.

_(Yes, this literally means I was as happy as a kid in a candy store…)_

The whole place smelled like burned cotton candy and it was one of the least terribly-smelling-fires that I have ever worked on with my team.

Everyone is well, Andy, Sullivan, Ben, Miranda, Travis, Emmett, Dean, Vic, Jackson… 

I think your friends are doing well, too. Some just messaged me to congratulate you on your presentation.

They had a viewing party at Grey-Sloan but I watched from my bedroom because I couldn’t watch you describe people using colored sex toys in public without moaning obscenely.

As you talk to me now, you’re describing Italy and the countryside. I would love to go to Italy with you!

I miss you.

I love you.

I count down the days until I can hold you, yet again.

  
  


Love,

Maya Bishop,

Written from my bedroom, while I am undressing myself…

Ps. I miss you, too. More than you could ever know.

Pps. Let me know when the package arrives with the t-shirts!


	4. first patient

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I am paged to the ER, and I expect it to be a labouring mom. I get to the patient and a resident tells me her information, she’s a 24 year old female, not pregnant, experiencing pain for an unknown reason.

Dear Maya Bishop,

  
  


I swear to God, Maya I am going to, I don’t know. I read your letter while a colleague was in the room with me. I audibly moaned, and he thought I was insane, and I am insane, insanely in love with you, but I couldn’t explain my girlfriend describing wanting me to be hot and naked in her bed made me moan.

I said the meal we were having was really good.

Don’t forget, the next time we got sushi together I let you have the last piece, guess I was as in love as you were. 

I had my first patient today! I’m sure we will have talked on the phone and you already know this, but I am telling you about it again.

Okay, so I am paged to the ER, and I expect it to be a labouring mom. I get to the patient and a resident tells me her information, she’s a 24 year old female, not pregnant, experiencing pain for an unknown reason.

Weird, so I got her an ultrasound to see if she was pregnant and just unaware. She was not, but I saw something weird, an abnormality, so I decided to get her scans. 

She and her partner were trying sex toys for the first time and got one stuck.

She “forgot to mention it.”

We ended up having to surgically remove it. 

I give my speech again tomorrow, by the time you get the letter I will have already given it, but it’ll be 2am in Seattle, 11am here.

I am actually doing a speech about Arizona and I’s research here soon, comparing it's results to our postpartum fatality here in Italy. I don’t understand why, sure our methods are different, but our fatality rate here is still so much lower.

Maybe with Arizona and I’s research it can get to almost 0. 

I know I speak to you in Italian a lot, but maybe I should do it more, although I could say anything and you would not understand. It would be cute, I can imagine saying “The sky is blue” and you saying “That’s sexy.”

God, I want to see you again. I got your shirts yesterday. They provided an odd sense of comfort, but also made me miss you more. I don’t know if I am going to be able to get to your bedroom when I see you.

After lots and lots of sex and dinner the night I get back, I can’t wait to fall asleep with your fingers threading through my hair.

Just thinking about you, seeing you, is making me hot.

And a fire at a candy store? How did that even start? Also, I hope the owner doesn’t try to give you free candy for putting it out, no one needs to be feeding your candy addiction.

For someone who didn’t eat candy until their mid 20s you are insanely obsessed, but I find it adorable.

One day you don’t work, we should have a Skype call. I need to see your face, and your body. Maybe plan to not wear clothes during the call ;)

I mean, I get off of work at 8, get to my hotel at 9, so starting at noon in Seattle works for me, but God I hate the 9 hour time difference. It’s so unfair!

Bella, you said I love you way more than the three times you planned, but it was cute.

I love you.

I miss you too.

Dio, I love you.

I am going to say it one more time; I love you, Maya Bishop.

Love,

Carina DeLuca

Written from my hotel room at 3 am while I wait for you to call.

PS. I love you :)


	5. for your eyes only

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, goodness, I hope that your colleague is a cool one! Or that perhaps, he was not bothered that you moaned out at my comments as you mentioned that he shrugged it all off.

Dear Carina DeLuca,

  
  


Oh, goodness, I hope that your colleague is a cool one! Or that perhaps, he was not bothered that you moaned out at my comments as you mentioned that he shrugged it all off.

I am warning you now, that if you are in public reading this letter, then perhaps you may want to save it for when you are alone…

(What were you eating when you told him that? Do go on and tell me, and perhaps I will moan out at the thought of delicious food… Or more, delicious food unraveling on your tongue…)

Knowing that you would allow me the last taste of your dish makes me feel loved, Carina. The little things you do for me always make me feel loved. I feel loved by you.

Oh my goodness, I am laughing despite myself, having heard about this patient before but now I am reliving that phone call again as you describe the patient who needed to have sex toys surgically removed.

Yes, you called after you gave your speech a second time and I cried at hearing your voice. Your accent makes me swoon every time. It makes me want to have phone sex with you, also. Would you be into that? I would be, with only you, of course, Carina...

Say hello to Arizona for me, I sincerely hope that she is doing well and happy. Does she have a girlfriend now? Has she gotten back together with her ex-wife? How is her child… Sofia, was it? I believe you mentioned it at one time or another. Either way, good wishes to both of them.

You saying ‘the sky is blue’ sounds very sexy in English or Italian because it makes me think of when we spent that day at the pool and how blue the water was and how you shone out past everyone in a bikini.

Glad that the shirts arrived for you. Will you send some of your own? I understand what you mean though. I am growing more and more restless just thinking of you.

I think the only way we will be able to leave the bedroom is if we don’t even make it there in the first place. I could take you on the couch, in the hallway, against the back of my front door…

(Let me know if you have a preference, though if it’s anything past the front porch I may not be able to wait out that long the first time I do see you…)

I want to rock you to sleep after and hold you close in my arms. I feel safe with you in my arms. I feel whole with you in my arms.

No one knows how the fire at the candy store started. I hypohesize it was either a petty robbery done wrong, or a distraction for one gone wrong.

And guilty as charged about the free candy. For what it’s worth, at least, it’s not only my candy, it is for the entire Station 19… (Though, the candy jar is situated in my office, so I suppose I do have first dibs!)

Having not had sweets until after the olympics has increased my cravings tenfold. But nothing compares to the cravings I have for my hands all over you… And much dirtier thoughts beyond that last one…

As I write the end of this I am undressing myself for our video chat.

The moment I read what time you get off work, I wondered when you were ‘getting off’ and when I was ‘getting off’ and let’s just say…

(I’ll save that part for our video call!)

I love you! 

This time with an exclamation mark! And another!

Written from my bedroom, while I am naked now, and I’m putting my pen down…

Ps. Here are some news articles about the latest fire that I put out the other day. It was a fire at an aquarium. One might think that would be easy seeing as water is wet… But preserving wildlife with all of the smoke proves most challenging. We will have to catch up more soon (about work after we talk about NOT work stuff for a while…).

Pps. And let me know about your most interesting patients. I do believe you can bring maternal mortality down wherever you are, but I just wish for my selfish sake that it could be as close geographically together with me as is possible. 

  
  


From your love, Maya Bishop.


	6. I just really need to see your face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I didn’t want to bother you with my family problems, but Dio, he was rude.

Dear Maya Bishop,

Ciao, bella.

First of all, I would totally be down for phone sex. I loved our video call. It was as perfect as it can be since we are an ocean apart.

Second, we weren’t eating anything fun, it was mushroom-sausage ragù. It was yummy.

Third, “Captain Maya Bishop did an exceptional job leading her team.”

Not my words, the articles, but I have no doubt you were amazing.

I haven’t had another patient yet. I am hoping I don’t have another one. The one I had was fun, but it was enough for the trip.

Fourth, Arizona, her wife, and their daughter are well. Her and her wife have adopted another kid.

Is that something you’d be interested in? Having a kid- a family with me?

I never wanted kids until we got together.

I have some shirts at my apartment you can steal, you can use your key, but if you don’t want to grab some from my apartment I would love to send you some from here.

Maya, you can take me anytime anywhere (I believe that is the correct phrase). Maybe I can take you first though. I just need to feel you, I need to hear you moaning name.

I don’t think this letter is gonna be very long. My papa is here.

I knew he would probably be here. Then I saw him the first time I gave my speech, but I didn’t mention it because I didn’t talk to him. It seemed unimportant.

Anyways, I don’t want to bother you with my problems about my family life.

I love you too.

God, I love you, Maya.

I’m not doing anything fun while writing this. Just drinking some whiskey, trying to forget my conversation with my dad from earlier.

I know I said I didn’t want to bother you with my family problems, but Dio, he was rude.

Part of me is so mad at my mom. She knew he was abusive, but she left me with him. I wanted to be left with him. 

It’s my own fault in that way.

Anyways, he yelled at me. In front of everyone. It was stupido.

Sorry! I don’t want to bother you about my father anymore.

How are you?

I hope well. I wish I could see you.

I am going to send you an audio recording of me saying, “Il cielo è roazzurro,” which means “the sky is blue.”

I am done giving speeches at the conference. Now I am just attending other people’s speeches.

Speaking of which, I have to get to bed, so I am up early enough to go to a speech tomorrow morning.

I love you,

Carina DeLuca

PS. Can you FaceTime me when you get this? I just really need to see your face.


	7. let's just say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let’s just say that I’m dialing your number

Dear Carina DeLuca,

Let’s just say that I’m dialing your number for phone sex as I write the beginning of this.

I warn you again, that if you are not alone, then I hope you will be very soon.

Mushroom sausage ragu does sound yummy… But not as good as your lips and your skin and your touch… Those are the things that make me moan, Carina. You…

Wow, would you send me those articles about Station 19? They can’t all be about me, right? I bet they were about my team…

Could you send them along please for my research? You’re THE BEST!!!

Glad that thus far, there have not been any gynecological emergencies… For the hypothetical patients’ sakes and also yours and my own.

I miss you!

ARIZONA IS BACK WITH CALLIE?! That is the wife you are talking about, right? People here still talk about the legendary ‘Calzona,’ love story.

I’m very glad that Sofia is well! And that they have another child. And they are well!

Ah, children, us…

That is something I have considered only slightly at this point in my life and career and situation. I don’t want to give you a yes or a no or a maybe over a letter, would we be able to continue this conversation in person once you come home? I’d love to talk more about this with you, but I want to do it right, whatever we do end up deciding together, does that make sense? I say this because I love you, I really do. And I want us both to be happy!

I wrote this response before I read the line “I never wanted kids until we got together,”.

This makes my heart melt because I know you’d want them with me, it also makes me want you more, just for you.

It also makes me need to tell you not to change who you are or what you want just for me, I just want you to be you because I love YOU as you are!

  
And we can talk more about the serious stuff when we are together once more…

Oh, right. Your apartment. My key.

I guess I always felt like I wanted to give you space and I never wanted to invade your privacy so I always felt a bit strange in your place without you there.

If you are offering me your permission though, I may drive over just to lie in your bed for a while. Is that strange? It might be. But I want to cover myself up in your covers and imagine your back into mine. Does that even make sense?

  
  
I feel drunk off the mere thought of you, the intoxication making me more alive!

Feel free to send shirts or not, I know shipping is perhaps way too expensive for a package overseas.

OH GOODNESS, Carina, your father, are you alright?

  
  
Call me as soon as you get this letter. Or I’ll call you. We’ll call.

I know you and your dad have a tumultuous relationship, and I’m here for you, I’m always here for you.

I know that my father and I had our challenges.

I know you and your father have had your own.

I get defensive whenever I hear a comparison between my father and someone else’s, even yours, I’m sorry I just wanted you to know that I don’t like comparisons…

But I support you fully. 

And I’m sorry if you are going through pain.

I want to take your pain away…

Your problems, it’s alright if they are my problems too, now.

I don’t want you to hide your past from me, or your present or future.

It’s okay if you’re only torn apart right now, I won’t try to fix you until you feel whole.

Your family problems will never be a bother to me, though I feel mine might be for yours.

I have Olympic-sized conflicts and non-conflicts and strong feelings about my father, and you know I mean that literally as well as metaphorically.

I love you, Carina.

So, so, so much.

As I dial your number I hope you are not drinking yourself into a stupor, but know I will be there for you if you are slurring your words anyhow.

I hear that your mom didn’t protect you- and that you didn’t want her to, either.

I can imagine that must be confusing perhaps?

I also hear that he yelled and that he called you stupid. I can imagine this must have been incredibly embarrassing and as I read this I want to yell at him, but I can’t and I would not anyway, because I wouldn’t want to make your life worse for you in any way.

I am well, better as I read this letter from you, and I will be much better when I press ‘call,’ on my phone.

I cannot wait for your audio recording of ‘the sky is blue,’ and I am glad that your speeches are over so you can focus on learning as you wished to!

Although you write goodnight in your letter, I will write hello, here.

I love you, Carina,

From Maya Bishop.

As I read your PS. I am switching over to video chat, to hear your voice for sex or not sex. For serious or not serious. For me AND for you, and for us to feel at home with each other, even if we are still an ocean apart.

And I am pressing ‘call’.

  
And I am saying to you, Carina DeLuca, my love, a “hello,”.


	8. an excellent idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are beautiful, Maya. I realized today that I don’t say it enough, but you are perfect. I miss you so much. I miss everything about you: your smell, your lips, your face, your body, your eyes, your laugh, your kindness. It might be more effective for me to find something I don’t miss about you.

Dear Maya Bishop,

  
  


Phone sex was an excellent idea. Hearing your voice makes it easier to pretend you’re the one touching me.

The articles are all online, I just emailed them to you.

  
I had another patient, just a normal vaginal delivery.

I miss you too! Dio, I miss you so much. I want to touch you. To feel you. Hearing and seeing you on the phone or my laptop is okay, but it’s not the same.

  
You still look stunning even through my crappy laptop quality.

Yes, the legendary ‘Calzona’ is back together.

I am sorry for springing the idea of kids on you like that! I love you so much, and I would love to have a family with you, but I would also love to just be with you, us growing old together sounds like a dream. We definitely need to discuss it more in person.

I sent a few shirts this morning. Facetime or Skype me when you get them. I wanna see how sexy you look in my shirts. I have already seen you in some a few times, but still.

You going to my apartment just to lie in my bed for a while; it is not weird. Okay, maybe it is a little weird, but I wouldn’t mind. It makes sense. The fact you want to be in my covers and imagine me there. The sheets probably still smell like me.

My father.

I am fine, I guess. I wish you could be here holding my hand when I have to deal with him.

I have never seen or heard the world “tumultuous” before. I had to google it. In Italian it’s “tumultuosa” the words are similar. I don’t know why I didn’t put two and two together. It just confused me.

Apparently, when finding out what “tumultuous” means I was confused pouting. A colleague called it cute. 

I do not pout! Pouting is something children do. I am not a child.

Maya, I am sorry. I shouldn’t have brought up my father. I don’t want to remind you of your dad or make you hurt. 

I love you and I would do anything to change your past, take away your pain. 

I know you said that to me first, and didn’t really talk about your dad. I am not going to pry about it. I just want you to know.

I just opened my laptop. It’s 6 am here. 9 pm there. I woke up early for another scheduled skype call. God, I am waiting for you to answer. I just wanna see you. You just answered and holy shit- I am putting my pen down now because what you are wearing (or lack of what you are wearing) is making it too hard to focus on this letter.

I love you,

Carina DeLuca

As I am writing this I am in my hotel room. Naked.

PS. You are beautiful, Maya. I realized today that I don’t say it enough, but you are perfect. I miss you so much. I miss everything about you: your smell, your lips, your face, your body, your eyes, your laugh, your kindness. It might be more effective for me to find something I  _ don’t _ miss about you.

PPS. I just got news, one of the OB’s at this hospital is on maternity leave. It’s why they signed me to get patients here as well as speak. They asked me to stay another two weeks. I am supposed to leave in one week, and I wanna see and feel you, but I’d feel bad saying no.

I don’t know. Tell me what you think I should do.

If I take it, then I don’t see you for even longer, and that sucks. I don’t know. I’ll think about it. Anyways, I love you.


	9. piece by piece

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can talk to me about it any time.

Dear Carina DeLuca,

Glad that you enjoyed the phone sex, though I imagine not as much as I enjoyed it!

It is an incredible release for me, (if you know what I mean).

Thank you for the articles, I forwarded many on, to my colleagues.

I cannot believe they called one of them “how women fight fires in Seattle,” seriously, that’s what it was called. And they spelled my name wrong! I called the paper this morning…

I am NOT ‘ _Maya Biship_ ’!

Glad that your patient had a good experience. Your patients must be so lucky to have you. (I feel so lucky to have you! Not as my doctor, but also touching my-)

I miss every inch of you. I miss you from head to toe. I miss you in the morning and in the afternoon…

You look pretty too. In your pictures and in your calls. You’re always an enigma to me.

I am so glad Callie and Arizona are back together. They are such a power couple. And I’ve seen pictures of their kids, they are too cute!

Having a more serious conversation about family with you - our family - makes me happy Carina. I cannot wait until you get home so we can chat more about it!

So far your shirts have not arrived but I will send you a picture of me in one that I took from your drawer in your apartment the other day. 

I slept over. It was like a sleepover. But alone.

But with you, all the same.

It smelled like you.

Your father.

I would hold your hand and kiss you and cuddle you to sleep and make it all better.

You do have a certain cute expression when you learn a new word. Even if I do not call it pouting, I do call it cute!

You don’t have to apologize for talking about your father.

You can talk to me about it any time.

I can empathize about your family conflicts in a different way than about my own issues.

The line, I feel, is that if we’re talking about your dad I still might not be ready to talk about mine unless I bring it up first, and then I just need someone to listen. Is that alright with you?

I’m grinning as I remember seeing what YOU were not wearing when you answered the call. I knew you were going to be sexy. You always are so I wanted to match!

I love you.

YOU WERE NAKED WHILE WRITING!?

NOW I AM GETTING NAKED.

ONE PIECE BY PIECE BY PIECE…

The only thing I don’t miss about you is how you look when you are disappointed in yourself. That always makes me sad because I just want you to know how accomplished you are. I miss all the rest with all of my heart…

As much as I cannot wait to have you here with me, your career is important and your future is important. And many times you have dropped everything so I can succeed. If you want to stay in Italy please do so for you, and that will be enough for me. Either way, this is your chance!

I don’t want to make that call for you, so I will just tell you you have my blessing.

Much love,

Maya Bishop.

Ps. Someone from the hospital by the name of Meredith Grey said hi to you today. She seems really nice. I think she is a friend of Andy’s, a buddy of mine at the station.


	10. it means eternity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All your fire saves are lucky to have YOU!

Dear  _ Maya Biship _ \- JUST KIDDING -  **MAYA BISHOP** !!!

Sorry, I had to, it was just too funny!

If someone doesn’t want to spell your name right that is their loss.

You deserve every ounce of professional praise to be right for you.

I’m glad the online version got corrected this morning like you said in your text messages.

So you know, I adored the phone sex and I’m not going to compete with you to like it more or less… We both get off on it and we can be proud of that!

Thank you for saying my patients are lucky to have me.

All your fire saves are lucky to have YOU!

Also, you never said what you are lucky that I touch on you. You-

I’ll use my imagination and dream of every single place I like to tease and to touch you.

When I am around you I simply cannot keep my hands to myself.

Part of what you said about missing me ‘in the morning, and in the afternoon,’ sounds like a song - Is that a song? I think it is one I learned in the English class called “Skinamarink,” and it ends with “I love you,”.

Was that another one of your secret, “I love yous’?” 

Either way, I Skinamarink you too:

I love you in the evening and underneath the moon!

It’s great that you enjoy the pictures of me, I’ll send more, though I cannot wait for more pics for me.

Can you send some in your firefighter outfit? I know that’s probably inappropriate. But that photoshoot calendar you did I just simply cannot get enough of that photo.

You look fantastic in red. I keep that photo in my bedroom. And another copy by my shower…

Callie and Arizona ARE such a power couple.

I wish you could see them together. Maybe we could see them together? As a vacation to New York…

The picture you sent me of you in my shirt was so sweet. It was just so you. No makeup, no weird props, just YOU.

And I love that.

Oh, I nearly teared up at the thought of you having a lonely non-sleepover.

As I stay in my hotel bed I feel the same wrapped in blankets that do not even smell of you.

Just that you would want to hold me through my troubles makes my tears go away - it means an eternity to me, from you, Maya.

I ache to be in your arms and to feel your skin soothing my skin.

Oh, and you also have a cute expression when you practice Italian.

When you repeat the color ‘blue,’ in Italian over video chat you have this.

I never told you that before because I didn’t want you to stop on purpose…

Thank you for your patience when I talk about my father.

I saw him again today. He was okay. He didn’t yell, we just talked.

Mostly we just talked about how my brother, Andrea DeLuca is doing.

He is recovering but he has been quite sick for some time. It’s not easy. But he is a big boy…

Thank you for your empathy. What I noticed is that you never pity me. I’m glad that you don’t.

Thank you for setting your own boundary, so I know where you stand.

I’m sorry if I crossed lines I shouldn’t have crossed before with you, and I’ll just say if you ever do want to talk more about your relationship with your dad I will be glad to just listen.

If you’re ever wanting to, I’ll be there, but if you don’t I’ll do my very best to respect your limits.

What are you wearing right now? Are you still naked? Will you get naked soon…

I right now am stripping down for a shower.

As you described the ‘piece by piece,’ part I could picture a mini-striptease in my head.

I’d love to give you a striptease over video chat next time that we call.

Thanks for your blessing in my work.

I have decided to extend my contract just for a little while and I know I already called to tell you that but I wanted to write it down here for you to know.

Thanks for being so supportive even though I know it’s hard for both of us to be an ocean apart.

Meredith Grey says hi?! How is she! Meredith is, indeed, a friend of your friend Andy’s.

Meredith has mentioned this to me when we have worked together at Grey-Sloan Memorial.

Meredith also once briefly dated my brother…

But enough about other women, because of all of them in the world, the only woman I want to talk about is YOU! I only want you to be in my life romantically and also… Shh. Sexually…

And I leave you with that.

Sincerely, 

Dr. Carina DeLuca

Ps. I signed that one as ‘Doctor,’ so you can picture me ‘playing doctor,’ with you, in the way that I really want to again - (you know what I mean!). THANK YOU AGAIN!


	11. love is love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The song is called “Skidamarink” but you were close, and yes, it was a secret I love you. Ever since we said our I love yous I never want to stop. I want to say I love you and I’m sorry to you forever.

Dear Dr. Carina DeLuca,

  
  


I agree we shouldn’t debate who enjoys phone sex more (even though it is definitely me). I’m glad I get to get off on your voice because the images I have of you on my phone are good, but hearing you is SO much better.

God, I’m thinking of where you like to tease me. Where you like to touch me. When you do that thing with your tongue- I’m gonna stop now.

I think I might pick you up from the airport, if that’s okay with you, I think I can keep one hand on the wheel while the other is in your pants. No, no, forget it, it's too dangerous.

The song is called “Skidamarink” but you were close, and yes, it was a secret I love you. Ever since we said our I love yous I never want to stop. I want to say I love you and I’m sorry to you forever.

I hope you know how sorry I am about Jack. I am still so sorry.

I would thoroughly enjoy sending you pictures of me.

I can definitely send some in the firefighter’s outfit. And in less. And in nothing.

You have a copy of that photo in your shower? Carina DeLuca, I love you, but I will rip it out of that shower myself.

The vacation to New York? I don’t know. You know I don’t really do vacations. I can handle one in Italy eventually but I don’t know if I could handle one in New York too. It might be too much.

Thank you for respecting the deal with my dad. I know it’s a lot, but I love that you won’t pry. With that, I say we stop talking about my dad.

How is Andrew? We don’t really talk about him.

God, please striptease always striptease.

I love that you’re doing what you love, as well as I support you helping people, but wow. I didn’t realize seeing (and hearing) the words that it will be even longer just sucked.

I want you to stay though! I just miss you a lot!

You know  _ Dr. DeLuca _ I can think of a few things a gynecologist could help me with. Maybe helping me scratch an itch, and then satisfying the itch so it doesn’t come back for at least 24 hours while she’s with me, in bed, just me and the gynecologist for 24 hours.

Can you recommend any who would help out? I’m looking specifically for a tall Italian doctor with long brown hair and gorgeous eyes. I’ve heard she’s the best at helping fire captain’s “scratch an itch.”

Was that TMI or weird? I don’t know.

Meredith and Andrew dated? Isn’t there an age gap there? Well, who am I to judge? Love is love.

I think I’m gonna leave this letter here. It’s short, but I don’t know what to say.

I wrote this in the station at my desk. God we’ve had sex on this desk a lot. The dirty thoughts I’m having right now Car: they’re not okay for the workplace.

I love you,

Captain Maya Bishop

PS. Right after this we got a really fun call. Coffee shop, one of the espresso machines exploded, burned a lot of people and the machine started burning. It was crazy and fun! I didn’t really go into the fire but it was a fun challenge.

Also, I realized I never said I missed you during this. During the fire, I remembered the one time we went to that coffee shop. It was terrible (to you, I thought it was fine, but I don’t have your exquisite Italian taste buds), so we never went back.

I remember holding your hand. And listening to you complain in Italian about how the coffee sucked. It was cute. I miss getting coffee with you. We have to find a coffee shop that you like and make it our coffee shop.

Gosh, this is getting long. I love you and I miss you and I have to go. I love you! Call me when you get this!


	12. we could have a coffee shop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We could have a favorite coffee shop if we find a good one.

Dear Maya Bishop,

Oh, just reading that you get off from hearing me talk is making me want to-

I’ll read your letter first and get to that later.

Teasing you, touching you, using my tongue on your-

(Maybe I might need to take a break and come back to writing this later!)

As much as I would love to have you take me while on the road, I feel for your safety so I will not allow it. 

If we’re that desperate maybe you could scope out a place at the airport where we might have a moment alone before the long road back?

Is it still called the ‘mile high club,’ if it’s in an airport or does that have to be on the plane for it to count? Either way, if you’re willing I’d love to fulfill both of those fantasies I have, with you!

Thank you for the song name. I downloaded it to my phone and I listen to it all the time. I’ll send a clip to you of me singing it, so you can hear me singing you ‘I love you,’ back many times.

When you talk about Jack, I get angry. And jealous. And very possessive.

I will not hold that over you, when I said I forgave you, I did, and I do.

Though I will ask you not to bring him up just to make me rage, because I don’t think that’s healthy for either of us. We both need time to heal from that day, and I’m not innocent either because I think I was being too pushy in trying to have you talk when you did not want to.

I’m sorry.

Anyway,

I got the first picture you sent to me in your firefighter’s suit.

Very sexy, and bossy. I like you when you’re bossy. I like you when you’re not, too, and when you’ve trusted me enough to give up control.

The photo you sent of you taking off your uniform got me going again. I used that pink sex toy. In the shower.

And then I used the purple one when I got your last photo of you naked. God, you’re sexy. And I’m keeping that calendar photo even if you rip it out of the shower, because that woud mean you’d be in the shower with me.

You are such a hard worker and I love that. I don’t want to pressure you to spend time with me when you don’t want to, but at the same time, I love it when we spend our days off together. If you’d rather do Italy as our first vacation I understand, and perhaps we can see about more trips after that.

I will respect your boundaries with your dad as you have set them, Maya, and I am here to talk if you want to.

How about I send you a video of me doing a striptease, to compliment your photos, that you sent?

Yes, I miss you so much. I love my work, and I love you. You know I love you more than my work and please don’t take this as me picking work over you.

This time is hard, but these letters are lovely, and perhaps we can keep them up when we return just for fun!

I MISS YOU TOO!

Mm, yes, Captain Bishop. I think I know the very thing you might need. You know, I’m a good Doctor. You just lie down and tell me where it hurts. And I’ll make it all better. And I’ll stay until you’re ready for more. And then I’ll make it all better again until you don’t feel any pain at all.

I can recommend someone to you, but I think I could do a better job myself. You see, there are plenty of hot Italian doctors around here, but I don’t want to send just anyone your way. All I want to do is to ‘play doctor,’ with you night and day!

Oh, it was not enough information, Captain Bishop. I think I might need to know more if I’m going to fit your diagnosis with a treatment plan…

Andrea Deluca is alright, he’s apparently getting better though he was sick for a while. Meredith is a good friend to him, and I hope they stay just that way because I think my baby brother needs a friend, and I think Dr. Grey might need a lover who is not an intern or a resident anymore.

Yes, they dated. Yes, there is an age gap. There was an age gap between Derek and Meredith, but in the other way. And after Derek died, Meredith dated my baby brother. And that just seems to me to be confusing and hard from her perspective, but I don’t want to judge Dr. Grey… Perhaps we might not talk about this too much anymore because I don’t want to become a hospital gossip…

You mention all the office sex, all I want to do is have office sex with you. Or wall sex. Or any kind of sex. All the not safe for work thoughts sex at work or better yet, not.

OH MY GOD THE ESPRESSO MACHINE! Are you okay?!!!

And yeah, I sheepishly like only Italian coffee. I’ll show you sometime.

I’ll bring some home if I can.

We could have favorite a coffee shop if we find a good one. Maybe I will ask my brother about it. He likes coffee, too.

Love,

Carina DeLuca

Ps. I love you more.

Pps. Today you called and said you and your team put out a fire at a music shop. When you said, “You wouldn’t believe the sounds the smoke makes through the tubas!” I laughed out loud so hard!


	13. Oh my God, Carina DeLuca.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh my God, Carina DeLuca. You cannot talk to me about sex toys. I am too horny. I literally screamed at Andy today ‘cause of how frustrated I am. It’s- God I miss you.

Dear Carina DeLuca,

You never finished your thoughts about hearing me get off on you talking.

Or your thoughts about your tongue. Which by the way, I think about your tongue very, very, _very_ often.

God, I don’t care if it is a bathroom that other people are in, I am taking you in that airport, or you’re taking me. Fuck, Car, I don’t care who takes who at this point as long as one of us gets an orgasm.

Haha I think ‘mile high club’ has to be on the plane, so next time we’re on a plane together....

I think you can finish that thought.

You weren’t too pushy, but I agree, we drop the Jack topic all together.

Oh my God, Carina DeLuca. You cannot talk to me about sex toys. I am too horny. I literally screamed at Andy Herrera today ‘cause of how frustrated I am. It’s- God I miss you.

You sent the video of you doing a strip tease- oh. My. god. Needless to say it’s on a private album on my phone now. The same private album I have every single photo you’ve taken or _I’ve_ taken (they’re my favorites. I wish I could take more right now) of you in at most lingerie. At least, nothing.

God, you’re so sexy. In every single one of them.

To be honest, I think you look sexy in everything so maybe I’m not the best person to decide this.

The office sex. I miss it. I miss you.

I miss you.

I miss you.

I miss _you._

Did I get my point across yet?

When can I make an appointment with you Dr. Carina DeLuca? If you’re the best I only want your hands taking care of me.

Also! There is no way you love me more! I wouldn’t like to start an argument (for your sake because I never lose), but I love you 10,000,000x more.

The espresso machine was fun, and yeah I am perfectly fine. Physically. Kind of. I would be better if you were here.

You should bring Italian coffee! I am excited to at least try to find _our_ spot.

Your laugh when I told you the story about the tubas. I could get lost in it, it’s intoxicating.

_You_ are intoxicating. Everything about you from your laugh to your kindness to the face you make while you-

The alarm just went off, there’s a fire at a school, I will finish that thought next time we call, and finish the letter in a few hours.

Today, at work, there was a fire at a school. We got almost everyone out okay, but there’s a kid with asthma in critical condition now. He inhaled a lot of smoke. I think that if my team had just gotten to him 5 minutes sooner he’d be fine.

He’s in foster care, his foster parents haven’t come to visit him yet. I think I am gonna stay by his side until they get here. _If_ they get here. He shouldn’t be alone.

I love you so so so so much :),

Captain Maya Bishop

PS. I just got to your apartment (I’ve been spending the night, it helps me feel closer to you) and am about to proof read the letter before sending it, but I wanted to tell you the boy got better pretty quickly and social services got him placed in a new home!

PPS. I just googled it. Italy is an 18 hour flight. God think of all the ways and places we could have sex on that plane ride.


	14. re-ignite... your nights.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Was there not a list somewhere at the hospital in a magazine, “many ways to re-ignite your nights?”

Dear Maya Bishop,

Well, hearing that you get off on me talking makes me want to get off in general, so I did.

Three times.

And I want to use my tongue on your bikini parts if you know what I mean…

Please just take me, Maya, as soon as I land. I’ll try to be good, I’ll try to be quiet, but I don’t know if I can.

Just please don’t be upset if I don’t last long at all.

Just the thought of you having me against a wall is making me squirm as I write this.

And we’re both getting those orgasms. I won’t leave until you’re finished too.

Thinking of taking another vacation with you is driving me wild, especially if you are enthusiastic about the mile-high club as you say you are.

Oof, apologize to Andy Herrera for me. You can say I made you angry or something, for the yelling, I mean. I know she’s your best friend so I want you to be close with her.

How is her husband by the way? Andy’s, I mean?

I, too, am feeling sexually frustrated without you. 

And I bought a red teddy lingerie piece for some photos for you. Expect them to be sent every hour in a while tomorrow!

Next time we’re doing it in MY office, at the hospital, because it’s bigger and that’s better and I have a couch.

I MISS YOU!

And you can have me scheduled to take care of all your womanly needs all night long.

Reservation is exclusive to Maya Bishop.

No additional entries allowed…

Glad you are alright after the espresso machine thing, and how was the end of that music store fire? You never said, and I am curious about the other instruments not just the tubas.

Yes, I have picked out some coffee I think you will like and I googled coffee shops in Seattle I might like to try.

Just seeing the station on mapquest makes me miss the United States.

Send a video of you laughing, Maya? I will send you one.

AND HOW ARE THE SCHOOL CHILDREN ARE THEY ALRIGHT?

Is the kid with asthma okay? Are you allowed to say? I hope you don’t blame yourself, it’s not your fault you know. Call me if you want to talk about it. I’m always here.

Thanks for staying with him. Someone should thank you for your valiant deeds.

MAYA ! Now I feel I should scratch out the worrying parts of my letter but you get the sentiment anyway. I’m glad the kid is okay.

Mmm, 18 hours, huh? Well, if we have an orgasm every hour I better send you some comics of sex positions so we can think of our 18 favorites.

Was there not a list somewhere at the hospital in a magazine, “many ways to re-ignite your nights?”

Apparently, 9 is dangerous, 5, 6, 7, 12, and 13 are amazing as are 17 through 20… And 15 is hit-or-miss and you have to do 17 slowly… SO that’s at least a good number of different things.

Plus we could always repeat our favorites!

Let me know what you think!!!

Love you, from Carina DeLuca

Ps. Today at work there was the cutest couple who came in together to have a baby. You should have seen it, two men who just survived army duty and now are having a baby via a surrogate mother!

  
  
  



	15. All night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am gonna say something. And I need you not to freak out. I think that you, Carina DeLuca, are the love of my life. I just- I love you so much. I don’t think I could ever love anyone else, and definitely not like this.

Dear Doctor Carina DeLuca,

  
  


God, I am imagining you getting off. With toys. Or with just your hand.

You can use your tongue  _ anywhere _ you want to on me.

Carina, if you don’t last long I won’t be mad. Trust me. I don’t think that I’ll last long either.

I am glad you won’t leave until I am finished too. I think I might take you again in the car. Before we start driving of course. We have to stay safe.

Andy’s husband is good. I don’t know I wouldn’t really like to talk about them.

Oh. My. God. I’ve seen some pictures of you in the lingerie, but God now I wanna see another one. You are so, so, so, so sexy.

I am  _ beyond _ excited to see the lingerie in real life, and to slowly pull it off of you.

I do support doing it in your office. On your couch. Against your desk. Maybe against your wall too.

I MISS YOU TOO!

I booked my appointment with you. All night. Maybe even all day the next day. I just wanna touch you, be with you.

I miss you too.

I will definitely send you a video of me laughing.

Did I mention I miss you too?

Yeah, the school children are fine.

The kid with asthma is also fine. He got placed into a new foster home. They were nice.

18 positions?

Carina, not that I wouldn’t enjoy that, but we’ll be on a plane. Idk how we’ll manage all of them.

Why do we have to reignite our nights? :(

I think our nights are already pretty good. Do you disagree? Or is it just curiosity and I am being self conscious for no reason?

I am open to trying new things. I just want to make sure you’re satisfied. And that I am not being a bad lover.

Wow! How are the gay men and their baby?

Anyways, I have to go get ready for work. I wrote this just at your dining room table. Nothing  _ that _ special, but it reminds me of the time we came back to your apartment drunk one night you took me against the table. Then again in bed. Then, of course, I returned the favor.

I am gonna say something. And I need you not to freak out. I think that you, Carina DeLuca, are the love of my life. I just- I love you so much. I don’t think I could ever love anyone else, and  **definitely** not like this.

Much love,

Maya Bishop

PS. Nothing interesting happened at work, but I just remembered the time I showed up to your apartment a half hour early to find you with a glass of wine, dancing,  _ naked _ , in your living room, and then I got off on the memory. No regrets.


	16. your even gentler soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s sinful the way I think of your body.
> 
> And even more, I believe it’s a sin because the body is only the vessel that contains your even gentler soul.

Dear Captain Maya Bishop,

Please, you can always call me “Doctor,” in a kinky way. Always. Any time of day or night I will be on call just for you…

I did get off. With the pink toy. With the purple toy. With my palm on my gentle skin.

And every time I pleasured myself I knew that it wasn’t as good as if it had been your fingers on me.

I will use my tongue anywhere and everywhere on you Maya when we are reunited I will start at your lips and pass through to your tongue and I will savor every crack and crevice that makes you who you are.

We can go slow or fast. We can devour each other quickly or softly. We can spend our aching moments in the most delicate sensibilities.

It’s sinful the way I think of your body.

And even more, I believe it’s a sin because the body is only the vessel that contains your even gentler soul.

How long will I love you? Perhaps until the end of all time…

Glad that Andy Herrera and Robert Sullivan are doing well. No need to talk about them if you don’t want to, I guess pass on a ‘hello,’ from me if you see them.

Yesterday I bought a new lingerie set to take pictures in for you… It’s an olive green negligee and I have some lace panties!

You can take the lingerie off me piece by piece as I will be nibbling your ear in the process.

Mm, I will book you in for a consultation in my office. I will pencil you in. How does an hour sound? Let’s make it two…

First I want to do you against my door, and would you like it if I bent you over my desk? One thing I love about you is that you let me be on top of you. I know we talked about how that’s not something you’ve always wanted other partners to do in the past. It’s a huge compliment for me!

When I got your video of you laughing I took a video of me laughing over you laughing and I sent it to you and you told me you laughed over me and you laughing!

Glad that the children are fine and placed and content.

About the sex positions; it was in an article at the hospital, very popular among patients and I think we could do some in an airplane.

I really did not want to hurt your feelings when I talked about ‘re-ignite your nights,’.

That was the name of the magazine part but I love our nights just as they are, and if we want to experiment with new positions or kinky things or just vanilla things I would be open. I never want you to feel like you don’t satisfy me enough, sexually, because you do and God do I want you right now.

Our nights are fantastic, and I don’t want to say something to make you feel like they’re not, and I’m actually glad you brought up about being self-conscious because i have been self-conscious about sex in the past.

You are an OLYMPIC ATHLETE and I’m… Not. And there’s always a part of me that will wonder if you’ll discover something I can’t do for you that you wish I could. You can stretch more, for example. I love that about you, though. I love it when one leg is on the ground and the other is against my shoulder and I have my mouth and my hands… I’ll leave you to remember the rest.

OMG we said at the same time we’re open to trying new things. I get turned on at the thought of you. At the sight of you. I’ve had fantasies about you every day.

The gay men and their baby are wonderful.

Oh, that table. It was some good leverage. The way you came- I wish I could burn it to my memory. Well, I did. Metaphorically.

(Now I am re-imagining it as I slip my other hand down my pants…)

Okay, so I’m freaking out a little. I know you said not to but I just couldn’t help it because you said that maybe I’m the love of your life and I think that you might be the love of mine and I just-

I want to hold you in my arms because I don’t know if one lifetime will be enough for me if I lose you soon to a tragedy, not that I think you will but I’ve talked to Miranda Bailey about this before. How she copes when Ben goes into the fire. It’s hard, and I don’t want you to feel guilty I just want you to know that my heart burns for you, Maya, and that I think it might always will…

I need to work on my English still sometimes.

I will love you like this and I will love you more. I don’t want to compare you to the past. It’s not fair to the past because you’d beat them out in a heartbeat. It’s not a fair trial because you are my future. And you are my home.

Much love,

Carina DeLuca

Ps. THAT TIME YOU CAUGHT ME DANCING NAKED IN THE LIVING ROOM GLASS OF WINE DANCING I WILL NEVER LIVE THAT DOWN BUT GODDAMN DO I GET OFF AT THE THOUGHT OF YOU GETTING OFF AT THE THOUGHT OF ME DANCING!


	17. You are and always will be my home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am counting down the days until I get to see you again. Feel you again.

Dear Doctor Carina DeLuca,

  
  


I am counting down the days until I get to see you again.  _ Feel _ you again.

I enjoy the thought of you always being on call for me. Sounds amazing.

You don’t have to wait that much longer until I can touch you. By the time this letter gets to you, there will be one week left in your stay, I am actually kind of hoping you send me a letter before you leave. I know that I will see you before I get it, but the idea of receiving a letter is just ultra romantic.

What I’m trying to say is I want you to have the last word. So this next letter you write should be your second to last (If I am calculating correctly, there should be enough time for this letter to get to you, you to reply, and me to get one back right before you leave).

I think I want us to go slow. Maybe after we each get a few fast quick ones though.

Trust me Carina, the way I think of your body is even more sinful.

Andy Herrera says ‘Hi’ in response.

Also; holy shit, Cari. God, I can just imagine slowly peeling the lingerie of your skin as you nibble on my ear and whisper into it. Especially since I’ve seen the photos of you in the olive green negligee.

I have never realized what a good colour olive green is on you. It looks amazing-  _ you _ look amazing.

Not that it’s surprising. You always look amazing (I particularly prefer you in lace [or in nothing], but that’s besides the point).

Two hours sounds perfect. So, so, so perfect.

My mouth is dry.

My mouth is dry for a few reasons:

  1. Is thinking about you in lingerie
  2. Is peeling it off of you
  3. Is the image of you fucking me in your office.



You can  _ definitely _ bend me over your desk.

God, I am yours Carina DeLuca. I don’t know why, but I can’t not trust you. The idea of you on top of me is just amazing. I know I haven’t really let many people top me, see that vulnerable side of me, but with you it’s easy. Plus, it’s not like I don’t enjoy topping you instantly after.

Sorry about me being self-conscious. My feelings aren’t hurt, I just wanted to make sure you were happy: satisfied. I always wanna make sure you are, you’re amazing Carina.

You’ve been self-conscious about sex? I don’t know why because when you do that thing with your tongue- let’s just say you have nothing to be self-conscious about.

You are AN ORGASM RESEARCHER and me- I’m not! Sure, I was in the Olympics, but lord knows when you do anything I get turned on. It’s dirty honestly.

You always leave me better than satisfied, Carina. I just hope I can do the same.

I’m glad. That you think I’m the love of yours too.

You won’t lose me, Car. Ever. I’m here and I’m staying, I’ll be as annoying as I can, but I will be here. Loving you, until the day I die, and I can’t promise my death won’t be premature, but I can promise I will fight like Hell to make sure it isn’t.

I’m glad I am your home, Carina because you are mine. You are and always will be my home.

I love you more than words can describe.

I miss you,

Captain Maya Bishop

PS. I wrote this, I got off to the photos you sent me of your new little lingerie set, and I think I should reiterate that:  **damn** it looks sexy.


	18. a leg up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am glad you are mine. I am glad that you trust me. I trust you too. I love you too. I always want you to trust me enough to show me your vulnerability. I always want to show you mine.

Dear Captain Maya Bishop,

  
  


I am counting the days as well. Dio, mia bella I cannot wait to see you again.

I will always and forever be on call for you. As long as you let me at least.

Of course I will send you one last letter, I might end up shipping it the day I leave, but I will do it. I agree, getting a handwritten letter is just molta romantica. 

I am always done for having the last word, whether we are writing letters or falling asleep or arguing (I especially enjoy having the last word while arguing, but I don’t want to argue with you… ever).

I agree, maybe a few quick orgasms each and then we spend hours, the whole night just enjoying each other’s bodies.

The sinful thoughts I have of your body, having your body under me. Having your body on top of me. Everywhere I imagine your body, everything I imagine it doing. The  _ places _ I imagine you doing them. Trust me it’s more sinful.

So you like the negligee?

I am assuming yes. You know, as much as I love getting all dolled up for you, the reactions you have to me in lingerie, the way you peel it off my body, I think maybe you should get some of your own lingerie. Merda, bella, I can just imagine the way you’d look, your body looks very good in everything, but  _ damn _ I would love to see it in lingerie. 

Unless you are uncomfortable with it. I won’t be upset if you don’t. I love you no matter what you wear. I love your body no matter what you’re wearing.

Maybe I have to buy more in olive green then, no?

Grazie, you always look gorgeous in whatever you wear. You are stunning, Maya Bishop.

I love being in lace for you. I also love being in nothing. We both prefer me in lace or nothing so I say that’s what I wear for the first 24 hours we have together alone  ~~ at home ~~ at your apartment.

I have scheduled your two hour appointment for September 24th at 2pm. How does that sound? I know it’s not exactly soon, but I have a  **lot** of patients from now until then. It’s what happens when you leave for 2 months I guess, patient back up.

I moaned at the idea of taking you on my desk (Maybe I got off on the fantasy of bending you over on my desk right before I started replying to this [I used the purple toy if you’re curious]).

I am glad you are mine. I am glad that you trust me. I trust you too. I love you too. I always want you to trust me enough to show me your vulnerability. I always want to show you mine.

Don’t be sorry for being self-conscious, it happens to the best of us, even self-assured Italians like myself.

You have never once left me under satisfied Maya. 

You also have nothing to be self-conscious about. I mean, maybe the orgasm research does give me a leg up (is that the proper phrase), but you’re the one who can literally get a leg up and it is multa sexy. You are multa sexy.

Multa means very, by the way.

I love you so much.

I love you so much and I know you don’t want to leave me, but that is not up to you. It’s not up to you, you run into burning buildings for a living and I love that. I love that you love it and you help people, but it is still scary.

You are the only person I want to be with after a rough day. Or after a good day where I have a story to tell. I always want to see you and be with you and love you. I always want to come home to you, but I am scared one day, you won’t come home to me.

I love you. I love you with every cell in my body I cannot even begin to describe how much I love you. It’s overwhelming and I don’t know if I’d survive losing you.

Also, I’m glad you enjoy the new set on screen… I can’t wait to see how you react in person :)

I love you so much,

Dra. Carina DeLuca

PS. I included captain in the title since you keep including doctor


	19. just come home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know that song, the one that goes “cold sheets, but where’s my love? I’m searching high, I’m searching low in the night…” It’s by SYML and I heard it play on the radio and I cried out for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The accompanying song to this chapter can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3LJlZBWI8w

Dear Carina DeLuca, my self-assured Italian girlfriend,

You know that song, the one that goes “cold sheets, but where’s my love? I’m searching high, I’m searching low in the night…” It’s by SYML and I heard it play on the radio and I cried out for you.

As you count down the days, I count down the hours and the minutes and the seconds until we are together again.

While I wake up in the evening sun I can see the spare spot by my bedside where I wish you were. I know you’re not gone from my life, I know it’s a matter of time and these letters are helping me endlessly, even if I sometimes feel the journey to you is endless.

It isn’t; it’s only Italy, after all.

I hope you got some sleep after last night. Most nights I can self-soothe no matter how much I miss you but yesterday was my tipping point and I took you up on your offer. We called over the internet to avoid long-distance charges, but I really couldn’t care less what I had to pay to hear your voice speaking with me again.

You told me back then, I mean merely hours ago, that you loved me and I told you it back and I told you how much and so did you and I want to tell you again.

All of this is ‘molta romantica,’ and you deserve the best romance that love has to offer.

When you have the last word it takes my breath away in a good way. Sometimes we disagree. Sometimes we fight. Sometimes we rip all out clothes off in anger but it ends up with you in my bed or me inside yours and I know that’s not always the solution but somehow it does seem to help me and hopefully you in a way.

When we get home, I’d like to work on our relationship together. We’re in a good place and yet I want us to be proactive. I’m willing to try out therapy together if you are with me, as a couple and/or as individuals. I once heard an analogy that couples therapy in a happy couple is like ‘preventing a cold before a disease takes over,’ and in saying that I’m not saying you’re a disease or that I am or that we have one; I’m telling you I never want you or I or us to be sick because I don’t want us to know pain from each other (ever again).

Let me know if that sounds like something you’d be interested in and we can talk about that more upon your return.

My body aches for you and as much as I can pleasure myself thinking of you I know that the release I am seeking will be from being beside you in physical companionship.

My lust for you is nothing compared to my emotional attachment and I have never felt so attached to someone in my entire life.

Quickly we may bring each other a sexual high and a calm from separation for so long and I yearn for it. I also yearn for all of the nights and all of the days I will fall asleep in your arms and with you entangled in mine.

Carina, all of your thoughts about how my body can bring good sensations to yours are not a sin in my eyes. You are my heaven and I strive to be yours. Our love is sinfully sweet but never a sin. It’s perhaps indelicate in polite company to talk about the ways and the places we’ve been naked with each other but together we can explore more and more as you wish (I do wish).

Your lingerie is wonderful, and the part I find the most wonderful is that I can tell you feel sexy in it. You have an exuberance when you want to show off a new outfit and that is what is sexy and not just the material - though you do have exquisite taste in your negligees I must say!

Perhaps I may or may not have already gone shopping for some lingerie to dress up in some time for you…

Olive green is a lovely color. Gift giving is one of your love languages and it’s sweet.

You are too sweet.

I am addicted to your taste, to your kindness, to your generosity.

Thanks for calling me stunning. I am stunned by you calling me that. DID YOU CALL MY APARTMENT YOUR HOME?! Or almost? It’s crossed out and I can barely read it but I can while holding this letter up to the light.

The feeling of winning the fucking Olympics doesn’t hold a candle to the feeling of knowing my space you makes you feel at home. You see, I have used a strikethrough as a ‘bleep,’. Do you know what those are? They use them on TV to black out bad words…

Oh, you bending me over your desk and you bringing yourself to climax and you and just you I might need to take a break and relieve the pressure before I continue writing!

Thank you for acknowledging that you also feel self-conscious about your body sometimes. It makes me more comfortable saying that this happens to me, too.

You know sometimes I wonder why we feel this way. We could complain about it but instead I want to celebrate the fact that it’s getting easier and easier to talk about my weak points with you.

Knowing I have always satisfied you in the past is something I hold dear to my heart. The feeling of you lifting your head from the pillow and kissing me after you’ve come and sensing the trembling from your core as you come down is one of my favorite things. It’s the moment after, the intimacy that matters to me. Sex is a package to me, and you offer me the complete set.

I love you so much.

As I run into an emergency I think of you and how I want to come out to see you again. Since being with you I’ve grown more cautious. I want to make it out safely so I never have to hurt you by not coming back intact.

It’s a good thing. Sometimes I think there’s still broken inside me because I will protect my bones for you even if I’d have let them risk breaking if I’d been single and all alone. I don’t want you to think this means you could never leave me if I no longer make you happy. I want you to know that you’ve changed me for the better because loving you has made me love myself and value myself more as a human being.

I feel scared for you when you have patients who could hurt you; who are on drugs or violent or have impalements that could explode or catch fire or I heard one time at Grey-Sloan someone had a gun in their… Body… Things like _that_ scare me, for you, too.

I hope you’d survive losing me. I think you could. It’s a compliment that it wouldn’t be easy but I want you to know that no matter what happens I’d like you to keep living.

I’ll do my best to keep living to be with you but we cannot always control what happens and if today was to be my last day on earth I would like to just spend it with you. That is not a cry for help or a sign that something is wrong. This is a sign that something is very right in how I care for you.

When I see you in person, I’ll show you this song. Another line is “if you’re scared, I’m on my way. Did you run away, did you run away, I don’t need to know. If you run away, if you run away, come back home. Just come home.” 

If you bleed or you break or if you could no longer walk again I would carry you home in my arms to wherever you’d want to be. 

I love you Carina with all of my heart.

Your loving girlfriend, Maya Bishop.

Ps. Did you know that some say that ‘loves never meet, that they’re a piece of each other since the very beginning’? I think it’s from Rumi and that’s how I feel about our relationship.

Pps. Okay. So I didn’t actually know that from reading Rumi. I saw it on ‘Orange is the New Black,’ have you watched that show? Perhaps we might watch it sometime together, there are many lesbians in it though no girls as hot as YOU!

I LOVE YOU.

Ppps. The song is called "Where's My Love," by SYML. And to that I say, my love is with YOU. My love is with Carina DeLuca (and I think that it always will be)! <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More about the song "Where's My Love (Acoustic)," by SYML as mentioned throughout this chapter:
> 
> ARTIST (SYML):
> 
> https://www.symlmusic.com/#music
> 
> LYRICS:
> 
> https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/syml/wheresmylove.html
> 
> VIDEO:
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3LJlZBWI8w
> 
> Ps. This artist is actually Seattle based, and they often donate profits to charitable organizations.
> 
> This fanfiction, post, or chapter is in no way sponsored by this artist or any others... It's just a shout-out :D.


	20. see you tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m counting down the seconds now. 22 hours. 79200 seconds. 78199. 78198. You get the point.

Dearest Maya Bishop,

  
  


I am gonna see you tonight. I’ll be in town for a few days before you get this, but still, the notion of you still getting the letter seems romantic to me.

I didn’t know the song, but I listened to it and it sounded really pretty. It reminded me of you as well. How much I miss you. I always miss you.

  
I keep remembering I see you tonight. Well, in about 22 hours. The flight is 18 hours, I leave for the airport in 2 hours after I finish packing and send the letter out.

I’m counting down the seconds now. 22 hours. 79200 seconds. 78199. 78198. You get the point.

The letters are helping me as well. More than you could ~~now~~ know. I don’t understand English language… why is there know and now and knew and new it does not make sense. No lo so, I think it’s weird with all the silent letters and whatever.

Italiano is easy. You should learn it.

You are the best romance love has to offer. We are. I am so in love with you.

Mama mia, Maya! I read the line “me inside yours” as “me inside you” at first and the thought turned me on. Then, I reread it, to make sure I was seeing correctly and I wasn’t. 

Speaking of seeing correctly, I saw my papa again yesterday. We met at the hotel I am staying at for breakfast. It was… interesting.

I don’t know. He called me an idiota, and then judged me for liking girls. At least he finally admitted he didn’t like I was bisexual. Him saying he liked it, but being obviously against it was annoying. At least it’s all out in the open now.

I guess.

I never want to fight with you, Maya, but when we do the “ _resolving”_ is amazing.

I am fine with working on us I guess. I don’t know. I am okay with trying therapy with you. I used to go to therapy a lot. For myself. I guess that after I moved to the Stati Uniti I just never got to finding a new therapist.

Therapy with you makes me a little nervous. I’m scared for something we might say, but you’re right.

We can prevent arguments before they happen, but Dio, it’s kind of nerve racking (is that the phrase?).

Maya Bishop.

Maya Bishop, the love of my life.

Maya Bishop, the love of my life, I have never felt what I feel for you with anyone before.

  
I have fallen in love, but not like this. Nowhere near as much as I love you.

I crave your touch. Not only sexually, but emotionally. I crave _you_ I guess.

I always crave you.

I am upset. You have refused to send me any pictures in your lingerie. Or tell me what colour it is. I will admit though, I found a picture of you in a red bathing suit on the internet and I might’ve gotten off to it. IN my defense, you looked _incredibly sexy_.

It was an accident. Calling your apartment home. I don’t know. It kind of started to feel like _our_ apartment. I know it’s not though! I know it’s your own space!

Did you? Did you take a break to “relieve the pressure?”

Sex was never really about intimacy for me. It was all pleasure always. Until I met you at least. You made me want to feel and love while having sex. I love you even more for it. You make me be better (I know it’s hard because I am already almost perfect ;p).

I will never leave you, Maya, not by choice.

I will never stop loving you. Not until I am in my grave.

You love me with all your heart, Maya, but I love you even more than that. I don’t know how that’s possible, but I do. I love you with my entire body (I know I’m skinny, so there’s not that much, but shhhh).

I have no idea what Rumi means, but I agree that it describes our relationship well.

I have not watched Orange Is the New Black… if we watch it can we use Italian subtitles (if they have them) I don’t know if I have admitted this before, but anytime we watch tv shows or movies together sometimes they speak so fast and say phrases I don’t understand so I have to think about it and then I get lost and can’t focus on the rest of the movie.

I am glad none of them are as hot as me :)

I LOVE YOU TOO!

I have listened to the song a lot.

I think my love will always be with yours too.

~~The love of your life (I think… you think… I hope),~~

Your self-assured Italian,

Carina DeLuca

PS. I was serious about you learning Italian.

PPS. I am about to put this in an envelope and ship it, so I want to say I love you in one last letter. Unless we decide to continue writing them in Seattle. We’ll discuss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N HI EVERYONE THANK YOU FOR READING! So! Next part there are three options: they reunite and we write the rest as a 3rd person fic, we write journal entries from one or both of them, OR we keep doing letters and keeping you updated on what's happening to them over letters. Please comment what you want :)


	21. quite starling, but probably not deafening, either.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maya Bishop is twiddling her thumbs anxiously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, the votes are in, and there is an overwhelming majority of people who wanted to see the reunion of Maya and Carina written in the third-person. Thank you so much for participating! It’s really wonderful to see the interaction on this story both here and on Twitter. Writing this has been a fantastic experience and we hope to continue it! Please note, this chapter has changed the ratings from “T,” to “M,” or maybe even “E,”. Take from that what you will. Take care! And thank you again! :D.

Maya Bishop is twiddling her thumbs anxiously.

It’s the first time in her life that Maya Bishop has _ever_ twiddled her thumbs _ever_ , much less _in anxious anticipation of something epically amazing._

But she’s twiddling her thumbs nonetheless.

Carina DeLuca, her girlfriend, _(the love of her life?!?!?!)_ ’s plane is supposed to be landing now and Maya Bishop can’t help but keep twiddling her thumbs over each other because it’s the only thing that reminds her that she still, in fact, exists on this planet earth while waiting for her girlfriend to get off the plane.

Well, to _deplane_ , that is, and then to _subsequently_ _get off_ , hopefully under Maya’s fingers and hands and her tongue.

And Maya Bishop cannot wait for Carina DeLuca to _get her off too_ , after all of that because God, does she need it after this brief flirtation with long-distance-relationships thing they’ve had going on here from the duration of Carina’s conference and also consultations in her home country, Italy.

And meanwhile, Maya has only just now taken up the habit of twiddling her thumbs. As in, only maybe starting about ten minutes before Carina’s plane was announced to have been landing because she’d okay for all this time normally. She’d been reading over Carina’s letters every night and every spare minute.

(Usually, she kept one of them at all times in her spare pocket but she didn’t have one with her now because she didn’t want it to get crinkly while Carina was ripping her clothes off).

Before, Maya would have been re-reading one of the dirtier parts of Carina’s letters to pass the time, but now, Maya has none of those in her vicinity and so she’s twiddling her thumbs like a madwoman, willing every grandiose existential ethereal being to hecking' make her girlfriend walk faster off the plane, goddamnit! Because Maya needs sex and she needs it right fucking’ _now._

And she doesn’t have to wait too long, either. Because right as she figures she’s at the brink of insanity, Maya Bishop spies Carina DeLuca waltzing down the staircase with her suitcase and it’s all Maya can do to contain her shouts of pure joy and exhilaration to a volume that is probably quite startling to the people around her, but at least, is not probably deafening either.

“CARINA!” Maya shouts to the top of the staircase where she sees the self-assured Italian stalking down at her in a sexy way, swaying her hips and sauntering in a way that is most definitely on purpose.

“MAYA!” Carina calls back, not bothering to be suave or restrained about it. 

Everyone and anyone they knew already knew that they were a couple and still are a couple and still would be a couple until hopefully-

“It’s been so long!” Carina interrupts Maya’s full-on fantasies (of _a future, or whatever, with Carina DeLuca),_ and instead, takes her into her arms and Maya swings them so she’s wrapping her arms around carina from behind and nuzzling into her neck and telling her how much she’s missed her.

“I love you,” Maya whispers, loud enough for Carina to hear, but not loud enough for anyone else to hear, because Maya wants to keep the sentiment to themselves.

“I love you too,” Carina nuzzles back, working her head up so her head brushes into Maya’s chin and it makes them both giggle.

“Do you have any bags to claim?” Maya hushes, because she doesn’t want Carina to lose her luggage and for them to have to wait for literally ever to get it through customer services.

“I packed carry-on,” Carina says seductively. And it should probably be absurd that the phrase _‘I packed carry-on,’_ is the tipping point for Maya but it is, and so the moment Maya realizes they have nothing left to be waiting for, Maya drags her girlfriend by the hip to the nearest secluded area she’s spied upon earlier.

Maya is shoving Carina’s suitcase to the corner and shoving Carina against the back of the door and she’s shoving her hands down Carina’s pants all in one motion.

“What if people walk in?” Carina frets breathlessly, but she can tell and Maya can tell anyway that they’re both _way_ too far past the gone that they don’t actually give a damn.

“Carina,” Maya drags out her sentence in a way that makes Carina moan loudly.

“Yes?” Carina says in a sinful way and it’s getting Maya wetter by the second.

“I’m an Olympic athlete and you’re a sturdy self-assured Italian goddess. We’re both braced against the back of the door. Sure, it doesn't really lock properly but I think we can manage enough leverage to at least get a few rounds in,” Maya lowers her voice an octave as she says this and Carina’s eyes darken so much that they’re black.

“Please,” Carina decides she’s not above begging, and Maya decides that this is not the time for more teasing.

“God, I’ve missed you,” is the last thing Maya murmurs before she pulls both Carina’s pants and panties down completely and she’s sliding right into her girlfriend.

“I’ve missed you, too,” Carina says as her eyes roll to the back of her head and her hands run over back of Maya’s shoulders and she’s backed into the wall so hard that she knows she won’t fall even if the sensations from her girlfriend screwing her roughly now are making her knees shake so hard she’s trembling.

“How close are you, already, for me?” Maya growls as she brushes her thumb to Carina’s clit.

“I’m close, I’m close, I’m almost-” Carina babbles more and more, until Maya says “shh, we have to be quiet,” and brings her hand up gently to cover her girlfriend’s mouth.

“Mmmmfff,” Carina tries to moan into Maya’s hand, as Maya stifles her cries out of pleasure and she moves her mouth lower to Carina’s chest.

At this point, Maya realizes they’re both still wearing shirts and it’s extremely inconvenient that she has to remove one of her hands to fix this stupid problem.

It’s either the hand that’s currently on Carina’s mouth or the hand that’s currently inside Carina’s center and she’s not sure which to choose until Carina does for her and takes her own hands and uses them to take the wrist attached to the hand that Maya is using to cover her mouth and to guide it towards the clasp of her bra.

Maya smirks and takes the hint as she unsnaps the bra and lets it fall to the floor as she keeps fingering Carina with the other hand.

And then, Maya asks Carina to lift her hands up so she can take her girlfriend's top off and throw it somewhere (where? No clue. They’ll deal with that later). 

And then, Maya brings her hand back to cover Carina’s mouth, and right before she gets there she can hear one last pleading request from her girlfriend. 

“Suck me, please Maya, please…” Moans Carina.

And that’s all it takes for Maya to give in completely and say to her “I most certainly will,” before latching her lips to Carina’s nipple, causing them both to buck their hips recklessly into each other.

If anyone could hear them from outside the door, they wouldn’t be able to say. But they could say both for sure that all they wanted to do was show the other just how much they fucking missed them.

It’s been a long time since Maya Bishop has given sex to Carina DeLuca. And she was going to make it well worth her girlfriend’s while before she returned the favor. What’s ‘work vacation,’ for, after all, if it isn’t to make the heart grow fonder until it practically explodes once the two lovers, finally, reunite?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, here we go. Onto the third-person portion of this fanfictional adventure. Hope that you liked this early update, and if there's a lot of reception for this new genre, we might see about posting a second chapter today maybe maybe. But no promises on that either way ;). THANK YOU FOR READING!!!


	22. sensational.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carina DeLuca is holding onto her girlfriend Maya Bishop’s back for dear life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The rating has now changed to Explicit. And thanks for the comments, enjoy this two-for-one chapter day, which probably won’t become a ‘thing,’ very often. But we hope you enjoy this sexy reunion right away :D.

Carina DeLuca is holding onto her girlfriend Maya Bishop’s back for dear life.

Maya had just started suckling on her nipple and _God,_ the sensation is well… Sensational.

Carina realizes that this is not the time to try to describe in her head what sex feels like because all she can do is throw her head back in pleasure and try not to bang it against the door.

Because they’re banging against the door but they’ve not seen each other in at least two weeks or something and Maya is suckling Carina’s other breast right now and all of Carina’s senses feel like they’re on fire.

“Carina, you’re so wet, it’s delightful,” Maya husks into her ear, and Carina can’t help but moan out.

Or try to, that is, because Carina realizes as she moans that her mouth is still being covered by Maya’s sturdy hand so that people don’t kick them out of the closet for screwing there.

Not that they’re not both ‘out and proud,’ and all, but Carina realizes that this is _not_ the time for easy puns because she’s so easily getting lost in the way that Maya’s tongue is flicking over her breasts and the way her hips are bucking into her girlfriend’s.

Carina and Maya are basically the same height, and that works for them, and the grunting and grinding is really great right now because Carina’s sex is striking Maya’s hipbone in the perfect way and she’s almost sure she can get off from just this.

“Mm, easy tiger. I want you to come, very soon, maybe after I get to taste you though,” Maya husks as she takes the hint and drops right to her knees.

“Please, Maya,” Carina begs and her accent is thicker than it usually even is because she’s been in Italy and it does the trick because Maya plunges her tongue right onto Carina’s hot folds and licks up her labia the entire way.

Carina starts rocking her hips into Maya’s eager mouth as she tangles her hands in Maya’s hair and she’s pulling a little and Carina realizes this but she can’t help herself and Maya can’t help but moan at her pressure, anyway.

As she does this, Carina idly remembers she’d once been talking to… Someone? About pleasure and pain intertwined but she can’t remember now and she can hardly remember her own name at this point.

“Maya, Maya, Maya,” Carina chants but it comes out all muffled through Maya’s hand. In a choice between remembering her own name and her girlfriends, she realizes the latter is more productive while currently getting laid.

“So good for me,” Maya smirks as she plunges in her tongue to Carina’s wetness and laps in and out until Carina’s about to come again.

“Mm,” Carina moans and bites a little on Maya’s hand to tell her to ‘get on with it,’ because she’s about to explode now and she really needs more friction or more touching or more _something._

When Maya secures her lips to Carina’s clit, Carina starts climaxing out of this universe as she shudders and squeals and screams into Maya’s hand and her moans are just barely contained to a low murmur by the hand.

Maya swallows the rest of Carina’s screams as she latches her lips onto her girlfriend’s again and Carina kisses her like she might die if she doesn’t.

“Your turn? Or my turn? Or do you want me to fuck you, I mean, here?” Carina finally comes to her senses and asks after the aftershocks wash over her like a wave.

“Yes,” Maya says directly as Carina slides down from the door and Maya slides down it as well. Carina jams the door shut with her suitcase before she refocuses on Maya who is still pretty much fully clothed.

“Help me, I need you now,” Carina says as she takes off Maya’s panties and pants and Maya takes off her own shirt and bra.

Perhaps it’s most sexy to take off the other person’s clothing but the don’t actually have forever here because someone could need something in this room and who knows how many people could be walking by?

And normally, Maya is slightly opposed to this but she’s opportunistic about her own pleasure here because it’s been far too long and Carina throws Maya’s legs over her shoulders right as soon as she’s naked and slides her tongue right to her prize.

“More, harder, harder,” Maya moans and Carina realizes it’s impossible for her to muffle her girlfriend’s sounds while she’s wearing her legs like a necklace but luckily, Maya covers her own mouth with one hand and uses the other one to claw down Carina’s back.

The scrape of the nails against her bare skin stirs something in Carina as she takes one hand to slide in one, two, three fingers into Maya’s entrance and starts fucking her in and out roughly as she brings her lips to her sex.

And fuck, it’s hot in here but now it’s boiling and Maya is fucking herself on Carina’s face and riding practically her whole hand despite lying down on her back and it doesn’t matter at all what this position is called to other people.

No other people matter right now except Maya and Carina, Carina, and Maya, as Carina flicks her tongue on just the right spot on Maya’s clit and suddenly Maya is shuddering and her walls are clenching around Carina’s hand and she’s spilling her arousal into Carina’s wanting mouth.

Carina cleans Maya up and she smirks when she can tell Maya is spent for a minute but then _definitely_ wants even more.

“We should probably come out of the closet,” Maya moans.

“I’ve been out and proud since I was sixteen,” Carina smirks.

“OH MY GOD!” Maya protests and whines and says that this is “so not the time for puns.”

“But it’s clever, I’m doing word play. Don’t you like when I play with words?” Carina giggles at her own cleverness and Maya finds it adorable.

“I want you, but I want to do this more in a bed because my back’s a bit sore from this angle. Can we go? Are you okay with that?” Maya says tenderly.

“Where do you want to go?” Carina offers. “I’ll take you there.”

“Home. Take me home. I want to go home, with you, in our home,” Maya says to Carina, eyes wide and vulnerable and hoping her girlfriend will get the reference from her previous letters.

“You’re my home, Maya. With you I’m always home, and I do agree. I’d love to have more sex somewhere less ironic than this supply closer,” Carina smiles.

“Thank you. We can joke about all of this later. I just want to go home from the airport. I learned to twiddle my thumbs here, though. Do you do that?” Maya asks absurdly.

“I think I do, like you mean when you hit your clit with your thumb while you finger yourself?” Carina asks completely sincerely.

“Okay, we really gotta get dressed because if you keep dirty talking by accident we’re going to end up sleeping here on the tile,” Maya chuckles.

“Okay. Tell me in the car what ‘twiddling your thumbs,’ usually means,” Carina offers as she tosses Maya her pants and they collect themselves as fast as they possibly can.

They make it home in one piece, because Maya makes a point of not letting Carina fondle her while driving.

Carina hands her house key to her apartment and says for Maya to open the door while she settles her suitcase away.

Maya says “sure,” and she does.

They pile into the room and onto the bed and entangle together again to consummate their relationship many, many, many, times over the course of that evening and into the morning and even the early afternoon.

“I love you,” says Maya, once she’s sure she’s falling asleep for real this time on Carina’s shoulder.

“I love you, too,” says Carina as she tucks her head onto her girlfriend’s.

_When they wake up just like this hours and hours later, they don’t get dressed for another 24-hours, and Maya Bishop and Carina DeLuca are simply perfectly fine with that right now._

  
  



	23. come back to bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maya sighed and nodded before going to the drawer of her clothes and taking out a bra and athletic shorts and following Carina into the kitchen.

“I love you,” Carina whispered as she pressed a kiss against Maya’s head.

“I love you too,” Maya said softly as she moved to straddle Carina again.

“We should get some sleep,” Carina mumbled as Maya started to kiss her. The hours and hours of sex had been amazing, but they also had barely slept, a few quick power naps but nothing more than an hour at a time.

“We really should,” Maya whispered as she started to kiss down Carina’s body again.

“Maya!” Carina moaned when she felt a hickey slowly being sucked near her navel.

A few hours later, after some much needed sleep and then a little more refamiliarizing themselves with each other’s bodies, Maya groaned as she watched Carina put on a tank top and short shorts.

“Come back to beddddd,” Maya begged, but Carina just shook her head no as she bit her lip.

“I’m gonna go make some caffè, would you like some too?”

Maya sighed and nodded before going to the drawer of her clothes and taking out a bra and athletic shorts and following Carina into the kitchen.

In the many, many,  _ many _ hours they’d been here, Carina had made them breakfast and dinner, while she danced around naked in the kitchen. Maya just watched with a smile until she couldn’t keep her hands off her girlfriend any longer. Let’s just say so far the kitchen had seen a lot of action. It was impossible not to get lost in each other after the months away.

“I have work tomorrow,” Maya said as she sat down at the island.

Carina nodded before sitting down next to her as they waited for the coffee to brew, “I do too.”

The Italian looked around at her kitchen. It felt more like their kitchen at this point. There were a bunch of little things from Maya’s apartment in her kitchen (like the boxed pasta, which honestly kind of offended Carina, but oh well).

“My brother, Meredith, and Andy and her husband are coming over for dinner tonight,” Carina informed the blonde as she stood up to deal with the finished coffee.

“Okay.”

They sat quietly as they drank their coffees. They just couldn’t stop staring at each other, the visible hickeys all over Carina’s body caused Maya’s eyes to wander.

There were a few on the Italian’s stomach covered by her tank top that Maya was determined to get her out of again soon.

Maya looked down at her own body, not surprised to find it littered in just as many, if not more hickeys. The almost 2 days they had spent cooped up in the apartment, pretty much all of which naked, had just been an excuse for each of them to admire the other’s body.

“Cari?”

“Hmm?”

“I haven’t seen the olive green set in person yet,” Maya bit her lip and looked at the Italian who smirked.

“The négligée and the panties will have to wait, amore mio.”

“Pleaseee,” Maya begged as she stood up to move herself and stand between Carina’s legs.

“Not yet, in a few days.”

“A FEW DAYS!?!?” Maya didn’t expect Carina to start yes right now, but a few days? That was cruel.

“I have not even seen the lingerie you got, Maya, it’s completely fair,” Carina smiled as her hands found their way to Maya’s hips.

“N-no! No it’s not!”

“I’m sorry, bambina, but it’s not happening yet, not today.”

“Why not? We have all day until your brother gets here!” Maya knew Carina wouldn’t be able to resist her forever, but she knew Carina could do it for a while.

“I love you,” Carina whispered happily as she pecked Maya’s lips softly.

“If I show you the lingerie I got will you bring the négligée out sooner?”

“I suppose…”

“I have only seen it in pictures, Carina! I wanna see it now!” Maya was starting to whine like a child and Carina chuckled before pressing a kiss to Maya’s head and waking into the bedroom with a little extra sway in her hips.

“I haven’t even seen yours at all Maya, so I think you can suck up not seeing it in person for a few more days,” Carina paused her walk to turn around and quickly take her tank top off and throw it somewhere in the apartment.

Maya sighed dramatically (to prove to Carina just how much she wanted to see the olive green lingerie) which earned a giggle from her girlfriend as she followed the brunette back into the bedroom.


	24. something about our dinner party plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “My brother, Meredith, and Andy and her husband are coming over for dinner tonight,” Carina informed the blonde as she stood up to deal with the finished coffee.
> 
> “Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you all for your patience as we have taken a break from writing this story over the weekend to go on vacation! Hope that everyone had a good last few days, and welcome back to our story. Enjoy!

* * *

_“My brother, Meredith, and Andy and her husband are coming over for dinner tonight,” Carina informed the blonde as she stood up to deal with the finished coffee._

_“Okay.”_

_Maya Bishop realizes a split second before Carina DeLuca, her girlfriend, how confusing this night might end up being for all of them..._

* * *

“Carina?!” Says Maya sweetly.

“Yeah?!” Says Carina sweetly as well.

“I just realized something, it’s not a bad something, just an interesting something about our dinner party plans, not something I’m mad or sad or angry about, just something I thought of, it’s kinda really funny actually,” says Maya, rambling adorably.

“What?” Says Carina with a wide smile.

But Maya doesn’t have a chance to answer Carina before they hear a knock on their door...

* * *

_Several hours earlier:_

“This is so exciting! Would you like to help prepare the pasta?” Says Carina to Maya.

“Sure, though you do such a good job, I can make the salad and bread instead, if you want,” offers Maya to Carina.

“Sure, bella,” says Carina with a smile.

Maya _does_ make the most amazing salads, Carina reckons.

They both get to work in the kitchen, with Carina chopping up crushed tomatoes, mushrooms, peppers, garlic, onion, hot authentic sausages, and other secret ingredients to add to her tomato sauce. The counter is lined with fresh herbs & spices, along with a package of fresh lingiuini she’s prepared earlier.

Meanwhile, Maya mixes fresh fennel, arugula, spring mix, fresh berries, candied nuts, cucumber, and an extra-virgin olive oil, balsamic vinegar, and lemon pepper fresh dressing. The garlic bread is prepared subsequently with a fresh bakery loaf, cut into slices and brushed pressed garlic and melted pure butter.

“Can I stir the sauce once you’ve boiled it, while it simmers?” Maya asks because she loves helping Carina stir.

“Of course, amore, and I shall help you watch the bread,” Carina offers.

They set the table with fancy place settings. Fresh parmesan and mozzarella cheeses line a plate for everyone to add to their meal as they wish.

Fresh lemonade as well as other beverages are chilled at the ready.

And fresh flowers line the edges of the cabinet.

“This is so pretty, does it deserve a picture?” Maya asks sweetly.

“Di securo, for sure, Maya,” says Carina, slipping her phone out of her pocket. “Pose with one, then we’ll get one with just the table, and then we can take a selfie together?” Carina offers.

“But what about you?” Says Maya, posing in funny smiles.

“Can you get a shoot of one of me with the pasta?” Carina asks.

“Sure, I think you might mean ‘get a shot of me,’ maybe?” Says Maya gently.

“Probably,” says Carina with a giggle. “So will you?” Carina asks her girlfriend.

“Definitely!” Says Maya, as she steps back to allow Carina to take in their handiwork. They pose ridiculously when Carina holds the camera far from their faces and ‘takes a shot,’ with her thumb.

And finally, Maya captures Carina with her apron on and the pasta and the sauce all prepared on the stove and they save them all for their shared photo album.

“You look edible in this apron,” says Maya seductively.

“Do I now?” Carina quirks an eyebrow.

“You do, I just want to eat you right up,” offers Maya, stepping forward and pressing Carina against the cabinet.

“Ooh, please do,” says Carina lustfully.

Maya kisses Carina roughly, bracing her hands on Carina’s back, and Carina allows her to dominate the kissing until she turns the tables and asks to lift Maya onto the kitchen counter.

“May I?” Carina asks her girlfriend.

“Please,” says Maya with a smile.

They stay like that for a while, just kissing and touching and teasing until Maya starts to burst out laughing.

* * *

  
  


“Carina?!” Says Maya sweetly.

“Yeah?!” Says Carina sweetly as well.

“I just realized something, it’s not a bad something, just an interesting something about our dinner party plans, not something I’m mad or sad or angry about, just something I thought of, it’s kinda really funny actually,” says Maya, rambling adorably.

“What?” Says Carina with a wide smile.

But Maya doesn’t have a chance to answer Carina before they hear a knock on their door…

  
  


* * *

“Hello!” Says Andy Hererra, Maya’s best friend, and fellow female firefighter.

“Hi!” Says Andy’s husband, Robert Sullivan.

Carina gets the door as Maya hops off of the counter and fixes her clothing.

“It’s good to see you!” Says Maya, pulling her best friend into a hug.

“Likewise,” says Andy, hugging Maya back.

“Oh, Carina, have you met Robert Sullivan? He’s my husband, and he works with Maya and I,” says Andy to Carina.

“Thanks, pleased to meet you,” says Carina to Sullivan.

“Thanks,” says Sullivan, and the shifts awkwardly because he’s holding a heavy box of chocolates as a present.

“Oh, we brought you these!” Says Andy. 

“Thanks!” Maya and Carina say collectively, as Maya motions for them to take off their shoes and follow them into the kitchen to put their hostess gift down.

The doorbell rings again, and this time it’s Carina’s doctor friends.

“Hi,” a female voice says shyly, never having been to this house before.

“Hey sis,” says Andrew DeLuca, Carina’s brother, not bothering to wait to be let in and hanging his coat in the closet where he usually does.

“Meredith Grey,” the blonde woman offers her hand out to Maya, “I’m a friend of Andy’s, and also Carina’s at the hospital,” she offers.

“Hey,” says Maya to Meredith. “Good to meet you. And so are you… Two… Is…?” Maya reddens as she realizes she’s blurted out her question too early.

“Oh, we’re just friends,” says Andrew DeLuca. “Meredith and I, we were something at some point but we decided to just be friends. Platonic friends. I mean. We work on medical mysteries together but not-” Andrew DeLuca cuts himself off there before saying something awkward.

“Yes, Andrew is a good friend of mine,” offers Meredith. “It’s great to catch up with you all, and Andy, I’m not sure I’ve met…” Meredith trails off so Andy can introduce Sullivan again to Meredith.

Once everyone is acquainted with each other, Carina takes their coats and Maya arranges the shoes, and everyone files into the kitchen to hang around and have drinks.

At some point, Andrew DeLuca and Robert Sullivan get into a very animated discussion about men’s clothing that the women are not particularly interested in, and therefore, Maya and Carina offer to show Andy and Meredith a tour of the apartment.

“So here’s the hallway, and here’s-” Carina starts to show off until she hears Meredith Grey make a gasping noise which she tries to cover up with a cough.

“Huh?” Says Andy Herrera, until she looks where Meredith is looking and also lets out a snort.

“What the- _oh,_ oops…” Maya says as she sees what they are staring at.

“And this is- what?” Says Carina, realizing that the 3 other women are looking at the same spot on the floor.

“To be fair, this has happened to me countless times, I’m not judging!” Says Meredith with a giggle.

“Neither am I!” Says Andy.

“Oh, goddess!” Says Maya.

“Dio Mio!” Says Carina.

“I can’t believe that we-” Maya cuts herself off, but stares at her girlfriend Carina.

“Yeah…” Says Carina, blushing a little.

“It’s okay, seriously, at least it’s just us,” Meredith giggles.

“Yeah, at least it’s not your brother and my husband,” Andy laughs and nods at Carina.

“We’ll pick this all up…” Says Maya, as she bends down to the floor to clean the pile up.

“I’m really glad my baby boy brother isn’t going to see this…” Says Carina.

“I’m really glad my former battalion Chief isn’t going to see this,” says Maya.

“Do you want a hand?” Offers Meredith. 

“Yeah, seriously, it’s okay,” says Andy.

“Uh, we got it…” Says Maya and Carina nods at her.

* * *

_The two girlfriends Maya and Carina pick up their discarded clothing from having thrown it every which way during sex during the past 24 hours, and also the errant sex toys that they realize had also gotten scattered around the corners of the hallway in a similar process…_

“So, to make us feel better, when did this happen to you???” Maya asks, pointing between Meredith and Andy.

“College, for me,” says Meredith.

“Not with my brother, right??? Actually, please don’t answer that!” Says Carina.

“It happened to me… In high school with Ryan. And also after high school, and in college, and in the academy, and also Maya, you and I lived together so I probably…” Andy trails off.

“I’ve found clothing of yours on the floor, but I have not found your hypothetical sex toys on the floor, no,” Maya clarifies and Andy breathes a sigh of relief.

And then Maya and Carina and Meredith let out a tiny giggle to Andy having just implicitly admitted to having had sex toys to leave around in the first place.

“Listen, we’re all ladies here, we get it,” says Meredith kindly.

“Power to us, I swear I won’t tell Sullivan this,” promises Andy.

“I won’t tell Andrew DeLuca,” says Meredith.

“Neither will we…” Maya and Carina say in tandem.

And with the last item picked up from the floor, the four girls make their way back to the two boys, realizing they hadn’t been missed at all through their brief interlude, as Sullivan and Andrew had been discussing their passions for different brands of blue jeans.

* * *

After all of that, the dinner itself goes off without a hitch.

Meredith, Andy, Sullivan, and Andrew _love_ Carina and Maya’s cooking (who doesn’t! The exclaim).

And Meredith shares that she’s been apprehensive about attending a dinner party after having had some bad experience with them before.

“Wait, was I there for that?” Asks Andrew.

“No, you were invited but you ended up hanging out at work with my sister, Maggie Pierce,” Meredith giggles.

“Right!” Says Andrew.

“It’s alright, it was awful, this dinner party is MUCH better, you two are great hosts!” Meredith says to Maya and Carina, who grin under the compliments.

The pasta and the bread and the salad and the lemonade are all consumed with enthusiasm with fun discussions about patients and saves and about travel stories.

Maya and Carina talk about having been pen pals for the duration of Carina’s work term abroad, and all their guests admire their creativity.

Once the chocolates are brought out, everyone just talks and talks and laughs and laughs.

Maya puts on music and the guests help clear the table and do dishes.

And when everything is over from dinner, the friends hang out and play cards.

Somewhere along the way, the topic of relationships comes up and Maya and Carina are praised as the ‘aspirational couple,’ which they take as a massive compliment.

“Well, we’re happily married,” says Sullivan, and Andy agrees.

“What about you folks?” Asks Sullivan to Meredith and Andrew DeLuca.

“Wait, like, together?” Andrew blurts out.

“Umm, no,” says Andy. “I think you already clarified that bit, I think the question is about each of you individually,” Andy offers politely.

“I have an inappropriate crush that’s never going to come to anything,” Meredith sighs.

“So do I,” Says Andrew awkwardly.

“Why?” Asks Maya, interested in the answer in a comfortable and semi-intrigued and gossipy way.

Andrew and Meredith both answer at the same time, but with totally different answers.

“I still like Meredith but she doesn’t want me back,” says Andrea DeLuca, and Meredith says “I’m so sorry,” emphatically and says she likes being just friends with him still.

“I have feelings for a woman way out of my league, whom I could never have, who is not even single…” Meredith says with a sigh.

“Wait, I think you could be in anyone’s league!” Argues Andrew DeLuca, and Meredith smiles sadly.

“Not this person,” Meredith says.

“Wow, you’re into women!?” Exclaims Sullivan.

“Women, men, people…” Meredith shrugs like it’s no big deal, and Maya and Carina exchange a look like ‘we totally saw this coming and we’re proud of Meredith for coming out to us all’.

“Why is this person… So inaccessible to you exactly?” Maya presses.

“Well, see, I stole her ex-husband and married him, so I feel like it might be awkward for me to steal her away from her _second_ husband…” Meredith says, blushing at even the thought of the woman of her affections.

“Wait, you mean Dr. Montgomery? I think I’ve consulted with her over the internet on some papers about our OB-GYN specialty, she’s super nice!” Carina places it.

“Oh!” Says Maya. “She’s really cute!” Says Maya, looking up a picture on her phone.

“Addison’s really… A lot of things…” Meredith sighs, remembering something vague about that line from her past with Addison Forbes Montgomery.

“She is!” Says Andrew DeLuca, and Meredith glares at him with jealousy.

“She’s cute, what, I have a thing for redheads, have you not noticed? You’re MY redhead though,” Maya says to Carina.

“She IS hot!” Says Andy, looking at the picture, and Robert Sullivan, Andy’s husband looks at her with surprise, but then shrugs, and also agrees with that assessment.

“Whatever, not gonna happen, I might, you know can we just talk about other stuff?” Asks Meredith sweetly.

“Sure!” Says Carina, sensing Meredith’s discomfort. “Want to see the new clothes that Carina bought us in Italy?!” Maya says, and everyone agrees.

So the topic is dropped, and Maya and Carina put on a fashion show for everyone of all the G-Rated clothing that Carina brought back from her trip.

Andrew, Meredith, Andy & Sullivan all clap and say it’s fabulous, and Maya and Carina go on until all their new things have been performed on the makeshift catwalk in the living room.

When the evening comes to a close, all the guests get their coats and shoes on and say they loved it, and Maya and Carina thank them for coming.

  
  


* * *

"Wait, what were you going to say earlier, before we got interrupted?" Carina asks Maya quizically.

“Oh, I was about to say that we had been about to host a dinner party with two people called ‘Andrea,’ two people called ‘DeLuca,’ and a ‘Maya,’ and a ‘Meredith,’ and I thought that was about to be really, really, really confusing!” Says Maya to Carina.

“But it all worked out,” says Carina. “It IS pretty funny though!” Says Carina upon the afterthought.

“Yeah, it did,” says Maya.

“Can we see our new lingerie now? I want a fashion show of all the clothing that’s only for you and I,” says Carina.

“Only if I get to see yours, too!” Says Maya, as they giggle and find these items in their now-shared wardrobe and get changed separately in them so they can give each other a surprise.

“How is it that the sexiest clothing is the thing that one wants to just tear off a person so they can give love to them,” Carina says when she sees Maya in her new outfit.

“I have no idea, but when I see that in you, all I want to do is peel it back piece by piece until all you can think about is me,” says Maya to Carina.

“Oh, but that’s all I ever think about, you and how gorgeous you are,” says Carina.

“As do I,” says Maya. 

* * *

_When Maya and Carina finally make love after their dinner party, all they can think about is is how grateful they are that they can all laugh with each other about how they really need to stop throwing their clothing and sex toys around…_

_But that said, the proposed, new habit will have to start maybe tomorrow._

_Because, for now, all they want to do is fling their panties off and devour each other in perfect harmony._


	25. her bagel and her coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Good morning, my love. I miss you already (and I haven’t even left yet). I wanted to do something sweet and I wanna make sure you got some food. If you can, you should visit me tonight at the station. I love you :)
> 
> -Maya’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Okay, so pretty much the entire fic we've updated everyday (except the 5 day break we took to go on vacation) we love writing these and plan to continue, BUT since they're in third person now we are writing more, and they take longer so we probably won't post any day!  
> Thank you guys for reading, we love every comment and every kudos, and every read, so thank you!  
> 

“So Meredith Grey is…” Maya trailed off with a smirk. Carina chuckled as she lightly stroked Maya’s arm, “I told you there was no way she was straight.”

They were lying in bed, naked, at around 2am. They had gotten carried away, and forgotten about the time, so despite the fact they both worked the next day, here they were, Maya with her head on the doctor’s chest, one of her hands drawing patterns on the taller girl’s stomach, while her free hand held Carina’s.

Carina had one hand running up and down Maya’s arm as the other held the blonde’s hand and she traced circles with her thumb.

It was oddly intimate. Just them in  _ their _ apartment.

Well, kind of their apartment.

Carina wasn’t really sure if the apartment was theirs. It pretty much felt like Maya had moved in which she loved. Maya had made space for her stuff in Carina’s dresser and closet. Hell, the Italian was considering buying a new dresser just for Maya.

Maya’s laptop was somewhere in the living room charging, she had brought a few of her books.

It just felt like their place.

Plus, Maya said, “our home,” at the airport.

That meant she felt like she had moved in, right?

Carina didn’t want to scare or push Maya, but she wanted to bring it up. She wanted to be sure, to make sure she wasn’t overthinking. Plus, the dresser she owned currently was 205.99, and a matching one would be around 300 dollars, and she didn’t want to spend that money unless she was 100% sure Maya had moved in.

Maya fell asleep in Carina’s arms and Carina whispered a quiet “I love you” before kissing Maya’s head drifting off to sleep herself.

When she woke up, Maya was gone, her half of the bed had been made, and the mess they made the night before had been completely cleaned up. Carina saw she had about 40 minutes until she had to leave for work, so she got up, and walked to the kitchen to see a little piece of paper next to a cup of coffee and a bagel.

The note read,  _ ‘Good morning, my love. I miss you already (and I haven’t even left yet). I wanted to do something sweet and I wanna make sure you got some food. If you can, you should visit me tonight at the station. I love you :) _

_ -Maya’ _

Carina smiled as she put the note to the side and took the bagel before stepping outside to check the mail. She smirked at the first thing in it. Her letter to Maya that she had sent a few days prior right before she went to the airport in Italy. She put the letter down on the counter before grabbing the coffee and sitting on the couch, eating her bagel and taking long sips of coffee. She texted a quick  _ ‘Thank you for the coffee and bagel, I will see if I can come to the station tonight. I love you, have a good day.’ _ to Maya before finally getting ready for work.

* * *

Around 5 minutes before her shift ended, she texted Maya to let the blonde know she would be over soon.

When she got to the station, she had a nice, fun dinner with the entire team, Andy made a remark about the night before when she and Meredith found their clothes and toys around which made Maya blush bright red and Carina chuckle, no one knew what Andy was referencing except the three of them which, to Carina, made it even funnier.

After dinner, they sat around for a while, talking, and at some point Carina started to get weirdly possessive of Maya. She put her hand on Maya’s thigh and started glaring at Jack after Dean made a joke about the former having slept with most of the girl’s at the station. 

She glared at Jack for a solid minute until Maya noticed and excused herself and her girlfriend and pulled the doctor to her office.

Maya opened her mouth to speak, but didn’t get a chance to say anything as a tongue was forcing its way into her mouth. Maya moaned as their tongues met and Carina pushed her against the door.

When they pulled back for air, they just made eye contact for a while before Carina kissed Maya again.

An hour later, clothes were scattered around the office as they were laying down in the captain’s bunk.

“I should go,” Carina stood up and started to search for her clothes.

“Wait,” Maya bit her lip.

“Hmm,” Carina asked after she put her panties on and turned to look at the smaller girl.

“Spend the night with me?” Maya asked with a bitten back smile. Carina thought for a minute before finding her bra and putting it on. She grabbed Maya’s underwear and threw it at her.

“If I spend the night in your office, I am not doing it naked. Anyone in your team could walk in.”

Maya breathed a breath of relief before putting the underwear on and letting Carina just fall back into the small bed.

“Thank you for staying with me,” Maya smiled, Carina flipped around to look in the blue eyes before grabbing a pale hand and placing a soft kiss on it, “Of course, Maya.”

“I love you,” Maya mumbled before pressing a quick kiss to Carina’s lips.

“I love you too.”

They pressed their foreheads together and laid like that for a while, foreheads pressed together, holding hands, every so often laying quick kisses on lips.

“Are you- did you- are you living with me now?” Carina asked as she slowly pulled her forehead away to look Maya in her eyes.

“I- Yeah. Yeah, I am.”

“Okay, uhm, I am gonna buy you your own dresser,” Carina smiled happily before pressing another quick kiss against Maya’s lips.

They fell asleep shortly after, and when she woke up, she used Maya’s laptop to buy the dresser before pressing a kiss on the sleeping blonde’s head and going to work.


	26. not perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A year had passed since Carina got back from Italy. She had read the letters from her girlfriend at least once a week. Oftentimes more. Looking around their apartment, she couldn’t even remember a time they hadn’t lived together. Rather, she could remember it, but she didn’t like to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So this is the last chapter! We have to conclude due to personal reasons, but this has been a great experience! Thanks for reading!

Maya laughed as she finished reading Carina’s last letter. Again.

A year had passed since Carina got back from Italy. She had read the letters from her girlfriend at least once a week. Oftentimes more. Looking around their apartment, she couldn’t even remember a time they hadn’t lived together. Rather, she could remember it, but she didn’t like to.

She loved living with Carina more than she could describe. She loved everything about Carina, she felt like the doctor was perfect.

Maya was making them dinner tonight, she had spent her whole day cleaning the apartment and making everything perfect.

Tonight, she was going to propose.

She had bought a ring and decided on it a while ago, but she just hadn’t had a chance to do it yet. There hadn’t been a perfect time.

Maya had bought a bunch of candles, and evenly spread them through the living room (at a safe distance, she wanted this to be romantic, but she also knew about fire safety), she got some rose petals, and Carina’s favorite wine.

She was gonna make them some fancy italian pasta because, despite her distaste for it, her girlfriend loved the food and Maya wanted tonight to be perfect. She bought some tiramisu for them (she was gonna make it, but making it takes, like, a full week and she still did have to work).

Maya had spent a lot of money tonight, but she knew every dime would be worth it. Well, every dime would be worth it if Carina said yes.

Amelia knew this was happening, and worse comes to worse, if she needs some extra time, the neuro surgeon would help her and stall the Italian.

One day, she would marry Carina, even if it wasn’t soon. She loved the brunette so much, so much she would keep trying.

Deep down, Maya knew Carina would say yes. There was no universe Carina would say no. They had been together for over a year and half and they were so in love it was gross to other people (Andrew).

Before she knew it, Carina was arriving home and kicking off her shoes and throwing her coat somewhere, she didn’t even notice the blonde lighting the last candle at first.

“Oh hi, what’s all this?” Carina asked as she gestured around to the floor and the candles and the rose petals and the little picnic like setup.

“We have a date tonight,” Maya pointed out as she stood up,walked over to her girlfriend, and wrapped her arms around the slender waist before pressing a quick kiss to her lips.

“I know, I just didn’t realize it was going to be this fancy, should I go get changed? I feel underdressed.”

“You look-“ Maya stopped herself to check out her clearly tired girlfriend, “You look _amazing,_ Carina.”

“No, I don’t, but thank you.”

“You always look amazing, to me at least.”

“Mm thank you, amore,” Carina hummed before pressing another kiss to her girlfriend’s lips.

“This looks- it looks _amazing_ , bella, but I have to go shower, I’ll be quick, I promise!” Carina said before pressing another kiss to Maya’s lips and going to shower.

When she got back to the living room, 15 minutes later, her hair still wet, only wearing a grey t-shirt and black sleep shorts, she saw Maya sitting on the floor picking at her nails.

“How was your shower?”

“Good.”

Carina made her way over and sat on her girlfriend’s lap.

“What’s for dinner?” The doctor asked before pressing a kiss to her cheek.

“Some fancy Italian pasta I can’t say the name of.”

“You made me pasta?”

“I did!” Maya answered happily as Carina turned to look at her and kiss Maya slowly.

After a few moments they pulled away and Maya couldn’t help but smile at the glint in her girlfriend’s eyes.

Maya ran to the kitchen to quickly plate the pasta before hurrying back, placing the two plates down, grabbing the bottle of wine, and going back to the blanket she had placed on the floor. She poured her and Carina each a glass of wine and watched as her girlfriend took a bite of the pasta. She watched Carina’s face scrunch before she hummed, quickly chewed, and swallowed harshly.

“You don’t like it?” Maya asked with a frown before taking her own bite of it.

“No, no, it is not that I don’t like it it’s just-“

“Oh my god, that’s disgusting,” Maya laughed before grabbing a napkin and spitting the pasta into it.

“N-no bella it’s not terrible it’s, uhmmm,” Carina tried to think of a nicer way to describe it, but stopped herself upon seeing Maya’s raised eyebrow and knowing face, “okay- well- it was- yeah, it was a little terrible.”

Maya chuckled and Carina couldn’t help but chuckle along with her before kissing her.

Somehow, Maya ended up lying on the floor with Carina straddling her and kissing and sucking on her neck.

“I- uh- don’t stop- I bought tir- right there, that feels good- I bought tiramisu,” Maya choked out through moans.

“You are very responsive today, bella, and I-“ Carina stopped her raspy whispering to bite on the shorter girl’s pulse point, “I am only on your neck.”

“W-wait, Carina,” Maya said quietly and the doctor immediately pulled away.

“Hm?”

“I bought tiramisu, a-and we should get some because dinner was a failure so dessert for dinner instead?”

“Did you make it?”

“No.”

“Okay, good, then sure let’s have some dessert for cena.”

Maya scrunched her face at the obvious insult before she watched her girlfriend hop up and go to the fridge to get the tiramisu and plates.

When Carina sat back down, criss-cross next to the blonde, the blonde couldn’t hold back what she was thinking anymore.

“Marry me.”

“Cosa?”

“I- uh-“ Maya stuttered before reaching into her pocket and grabbing out the ring, “I want you to marry me. And this is _not_ the way I wanted to do this and it’s not perfect like it was supposed to be. This night isn’t as perfect as it was supposed to be, but I want to marry you, Carina, so marry me.”

Carina stood there with her mouth open while her girlfriend stared at her with hopeful eyes.

“I- uhm- yes, of course!”

“Really?”

“Really!”

“I love you, Cari,” Maya said, tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

“I love you too.”

A few hours later, they were cuddling in bed together, Maya had her head on Carina’s chest as the Italian combed her fingers through short, blonde hair.

“Thank you, bella,” the doctor whispered.

“For what?” Maya lifted her head to make eye contact.

Carina just smiled at the blonde before moving some hair behind her ear, “The perfect proposal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed!  
> 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Do you ever feel?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24654517) by [bobbiejelly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobbiejelly/pseuds/bobbiejelly)
  * [Emergency Use Only](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24599695) by [bobbiejelly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobbiejelly/pseuds/bobbiejelly)




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